jueves, junio 21, 2007

A Rhinos Curious Dick

So, whilst perusing some nature programme the other night on TV, I was surprised to learn that a Rhino's penis has the most amazing ability. It can open up a bit like an umbrella. Apparently, this is to stop it from sliding out of the female whilst mating.

I'm not surprised the fuckers are endangered. I mean, assuming a Rhino gets an unwanted erection when he sees a 'pretty' female, he's going to look pretty stupid. "Ooh is that an umbrella or are you just pleased to see me?".

Now the thing is, logically, if nature has developed this mutation of the penile appendage, it means that the male Rhino is naturally crap at foreplay. I mean, if you put your todger into a female and she attempts to make a run for it, you're not doing everything quite right.

I know that if I were to get around to losing my virginity, I would not expect the chosen one to attempt to make a run for the hills.

I suppose 'giving head' is also out of the question for a Rhino which is a bit sad really as you have a natural dildo superglued to the end of your nose.

Powdered Rhino horn is also one of most powerful aphrodisiacs known. Nature can be cruel - a horny nose you can't do a thing with and a dick that turns into a party mushroom.

I'll stick to being a Goth I think.

13 comentarios:

zoe dijo...

well, i'm glad that i'm not a rhino then. the things i'd miss out on. and i bet a rhino's dick is just a little too big for my liking.

Tippler dijo...

It's probably not only your 'liking' it'd be a little too big for.

I'm guessing, here, of course...

PI dijo...

Trouble is those instant umbrellas which shoot up at the press of a button are, in my experience, jolly difficult to get down again.

SpanishGoth dijo...

Zed -> things you'd miss out on? what, like being impaled?

Tippler -> Would hope you were right with that guess

Pat -> not exactlty 'user-friendly' are they?

phoenix dijo...

ooyah imagine if one the spokes came out!! no wonder the lady rhino's want to run for it

Mr. X dijo...

Well, if they can open up like an umbrella, do they crumple up in the wind is what we want to know.
David Attenborough never tells you these things, does he?

Cream dijo...

Pi, that was very subtle!!

"Is that a parasol or a Cocktail?"

Chopski dijo...

I think when he manages to get it in there there's not 'mushroom' left!! Groan!!

SpanishGoth dijo...

Phoenix -> but it might be too late....

Mr X -> Wasn't Attenborough, it was the female one - but what wind?

Cream -> I think Parasol, she's far too glamorous for a brolley

Chopski -> are you Jimmy Tarbuck?

Brom dijo...

I'll never be able to watch Mary Poppins again without thinking of you now. Thanks Mate.

SpanishGoth dijo...

OI - not fucking me pal. Blame it on the Rhino doofers

Chopski dijo...

I look at myself more of a thinking mans Frank Carson!!

SpanishGoth dijo...

yikes - 'thinking' and 'Frank Carson' - not often you see those in the same sentence