I Don't Like The Drugs

But the druggies like me. I'm not sure why - I guess it's something to do with my appearance. They make assumptions, which I hasten to add, are way off the mark, one being, that I am a habitual drug user. I am in the sense that I smoke a lot - but purely Marlboro Lights. I drink a lot of alcohol but generally stay in control of my actions. Granted some of them are blatantly fucking stupid at times, but at those times they seem funny to me.

Wherever I go though, I am constantly being offered or asked for drugs. Walking through Lisbon I got offered cocaine 4 times in a 5 minute period. Every day the weirdos seek me out like I'm a freak-magnet. I could understand it if I looked like Bob Marley but I don't. I suppose if I looked at it in a positive way I must have the appearance of a rock star. Not sure about that but I did say positive...

Any gig I go to, it becomes a game of 'chase me, chase me' as I try to avoid the purveyors of narcotics. After a while I become bored and just switch on my Gothic Cloaking device, which emits such an aura of menace that no-one dares approach me (even the police) - which is very handy.

The fact that I don't like drugs is a personal choice - if you want to do drugs, that's your funeral. And I've been to quite a few drug-induced funerals.

There used to be an anti-drugs campaign in the UK titled 'Just Say No' - well I have a better version for when people approach me offering "Drugs?" - Just Say, "Fuck Off !".

It's all rather amusing given the number of years I have worked for some of the largest pharmaceutical companies in the world. I don't like their drugs either but the money comes in very handy.

Nope, for me I prefer my Jack Daniels and beer. They enable me to come up with brilliant master plans that in the light of day, or soberness can be seen to be what they truly are, mad as a bag of frogs - but that's another story.