Goth Bond - Gothfinger - Part III

The plane touches down in America and Goth Bond strokes Pussy gently to awaken her. Pussy Galores lips part invitingly and Goth Bond smiles - he knows she's in good hands. After they have gone through the airport VIP channel, the American agent meets them. "Lighter?" asks Bond. "Yes, Felix Leiter" replies the not so cunningly disguised American spy. "No" says Goth Bond "Do you have a lighter? I really need a cigarette".

Meanwhile, Pussy is purring in Goths ear "I really, really need to go to bed" - "Yes I know" says Goth Bond "but first, we need to sort out that Blowjob".

"Sorry to interrupt" says Felix "But we have a world to save, and I've got everything you requested - walk this way". "In these leather trousers?" enquires Goth showing Leiter his skin tight, buttock hugging leather trousers that women keep wanting to lick for some reason. "Ok, just follow me" replies Leiter.

The three of them arrive at a beautiful Aston Martin Advantage. "Wow" says Bond "I bet she goes" - "Oh yes" replies Felix, grinning like a cat, she goes "vrooooom, vroooooooom, squeal, vroooom". "Not quite what I meant" says Bond "but I assume all the modifications have been done?". "Yup" says Felix "although I don't know what an ejaculator seat does". "Kind of tosses you in some direction" says Bond dismissively whilst continuing to examine all the other gadgets U has installed.

"Don't we have to go somewhere?" asks Pussy. "Indeed" says Bond, "but we'll be arriving in style". "Isn't arriving like coming?" asks Pussy and Goth nods his head knowing it's going to be a very long day. "Look Felix" says Bond "thanks for the help but I think it better that you stay here - I get a bit wary of strangers Felix".

Goth and Pussy climb into the Aston Martin together and burn rubber.

Whilst this is occuring, Blowjob is making sure that all the little soldiers are going where they are supposed to. "Put that thing up there" demands Blowjob and watches carefully that the result match his expectations. He knows the earth is going to move when he has completed his dirty deed. He throws his head in the air and cackles "Nothing can stop the Blowjob bwahahahahaha" and has to pause briefly for air "hahahahahaha"

Meanwhile Goth Bond and Pussy have come, out of sight to Blowjob. It's one of the perils of only having one good eye. "Ok" says Bond "Here's the plan. You stay here in the car and when you get my signal press the third button on the right". Pussy tenderly motions across the nobs in front of her - "This one?" she enquires. "Indeed" says Bond "The one that says Boom" on it. He knows that this adventure with Pussy will have a climatic ending.

Meanwhile Blowjob has nearly set all of the nuclear devices to blow up Fort Knockers (He's not called Blowjob for nothing). World markets will crumble, he will be master of all he surveys (with his one good eye, so approximately half the world).

Bond speaks into his watch "Ok U, I need guns, lots of guns" and suddenly an arsenal of weapons appears in front of him like a supermarket, but of guns - not a baked bean in sight. He selects the ones he wants and with a clenched fist, shoots off a round or two. "Excellent" he declares. "Now to sort Blowjob out".

Like the devastating killing machine he is, Goth Bond kills all the bad soldiers on his way to Blowjob but when he arrives, Blowjob just cackles "Too late Bond - in 3 minutes the bombs go off". Bond pulls out the hugest vibrator in the world and declares "Not yet Blowjob". "HA" says Blowjob "What's that?" - "Voices activated revenge" says Bond "HA" says Blowjob "Magic dildo my arse" .... there's a whoosh and then a steady thrumming sound "Yowzer" exclaims Blowjob, looking like a red lollipop.

Bond diffuses the bombs and signals to Pussy that it's her turn to come. She gets out of the car, wondering what would have happened if she'd pressed the Boom button but Goth just smiles at the camera and mouths "It's only the stereo" as Pussy is all over him.

#Da da dee da dee da da#

Fade out as Goth Bond gets his Pussy and saves the world - normal day at the orifice really.