sábado, abril 14, 2007

Goth Bond - Gothfinger - Part II

(short summary of part I - our hero Goth Bond, Secret Agent, has thwarted the Spice Girls evil plan to reunite but his nemesis, Blowjob has had away with Pussy - we join O-69 in his WTF hunt)

Goth Bond decided to return to the riding stables where he had first encountered Pussy. He remembered the first time he had seen her riding and marvelled at her exquisiteness. Unfortunately for Bond, this was not to be a good day - he found a pussy alright but she was rigid and covered in gold. What has that Blowjob done to this pussy and, more importantly where is THE Pussy? thought Goth Bond. There was only one thing to do, don't get mad, get even.

Bond knew he had to seek out the naughty Blowjob but, his love of Pussy far transcended the momentary thrill of hunting down Blowjob. However, Blowjob had been expecting this from Goth Bond (well, it was in the bloody script) and had sent his henchman Badjob to kill Bond. Badjob was a nasty piece of work with no respect for helmets or hats of any kind really. Soon enough Badjob had Bond in an extremely tricky situation, Bond didn't know if his nuts were going to explode, he had to do something - perhaps one of the cunning weapons that he had received from U. As he lay there stricken and exposed, he tried to think of something, anything that would help him out of this desperate predicament.

Suddenly, he remembers the power he has that he didn't need U for. He recited some poetry and unleashed the Fear of Goth on his captors. Like punks with a cause, they run away screaming 'I fought the Goth, but the Goth won....' and Bond managed to escape. He knows where he has to go now, Badjob made the mistake of telling Bond the master plan, but first Bond has to save Pussy Galore to keep her safe from evil. Bond is not sure exactly where she is but he knows the clock is ticking (he can hear it in the background) - he must find Pussy and then get to America to Fort Knockers.

Meanwhile, in his submarine of evil, Blowjob is stroking the pussy on his lap cursing that his plan to kill Goth Bond didn't work. He has watched this on the secret cameras he had installed and his stroking had become faster and agitated "Next time Bond" he curses. Meanwhile, he must continue with his plan, he has to get to Fort Knockers before Bond can spoil his cunning and watertight plan.

Goth Bond phones Y on the Bat phone (not a batman gadget, just a phone that looks like a bat because it's in disguise). "Y, U, I'm going after Blowjob and I'm not stopping till the end. Get me a contact in America for when my plane lands" - there is a pause on the line and then a voice says "But surely that's too dangerous Bond". "Is that U?" enquires Bond. "No, it's P" says P. "Y?" asks Bond, "Why P?" asks P, "No, I want to speak to Y, P". "It's OK Bond" says Y "U go and ship some gadgets to America, mark them Leiter" "Lighter than what?" asks U "No, for the attention of Leiter, Felix Leiter" by which time Goth is very bored of this scrabble like conversation.

"I'll call you when I get there" says Bond "Just as soon as I've got Pussy".

There was a collective groan at the other end of the phone but it was too late, Bond had hung up and was deperately searching for Pussy around the stables. Finally he finds pussy, dripping ... with perspiration hung between two golden pillars. As fast as he can, he undoes the straps and lies her gently on the ground. He hasn't much time and he knows he has to go down and resucitate Pussy with his mouth-to-Pussy skills. It takes several minutes but eventually he can feel a much stronger pulse in Pussy.

"Oh Goth" gasps Pussy "Blowjob has an evil plan - I just heard big, gold and Knockers. Whatever can it be?". "It's ok Pussy, I know all about the plan he has for the Knockers. We have to hurry, there's a plane to catch". With that, he lifts her to her feet and they dash to the airport to catch a flight to America, home of the biggest Knockers - the Gold Depository.

*To be continued..........

18 comentarios:

supergirlest dijo...

where are my f*#%ing pictures?!?!? hmmm? having too much birthday fun?
:)

MKWM dijo...

Goth Bond O-69... you are simply spoiling us, I can hardly wait for the next installment.

Shaz dijo...

Oh Mr GB 0-69 take care for the sake of all pussies out there. Go get em (!)

SpanishGoth dijo...

SuperK -> Pictures coming but they're on home puter, not the one I use for work

Minky -> praise indeed my dear tx (but be wary of "to be continued" ;-)

Shaz -> no worries my love, Goth Master to the rescue

*clenches fist, points at the ground and flies up at supersonic speed*

Mr. X dijo...

We can just hear the Clash doing the theme tune...
Nice work.
Keep it up. So to speak.

Aunty Marianne dijo...

Still not enough about the leather trousers.

Tippler dijo...

I had to read that last line again.

I had in mind a massive, precious- metal tablet for insertion in the evil pussy-stroking Blowjob's back passage.

But that would be the Golden Suppository.

Easy mistake to make.

Come to think of it, what was the name of that other Bond movie?

The Man With The Golden Bum?

Hang on, it could have been Coldfinger...

SpanishGoth dijo...

Mr X -> thought you might appreciate that being from roughly that era

Aunty M -> Pants. And it is coming in Part III along with the gadgets

Tipp -> What is it with you and bottoms? Anyone would think you were a fan of the Arse...#tut tut#
(and I was thinking more The Goth With the Golden Gun)

Mr. X dijo...

So what's the sequel going to be -
'The spy who Gothed me'?
or if feeling a tad more voyeuristic, 'The goth who spied me'

You Sick Bastard! dijo...

This must be the Director's Cut. The drama! I'm gathering my supply of popcorn and tissues.

SpanishGoth dijo...

There will be a vote for the sequel from a choice of 3:-

Octopussy (obviously :)
ThunderBalls
The Goth Who Loved Me

I quite like 'The Spy Who Gothed Me' but O-69 can't just go round Gothing people willy-nilly.

Popcorn & tissues - nice :p

bananas62 dijo...

I'm at the edge of my seat!!! Hurry must have more.... ;-) and I agree with Aunty Marianne...must have more about the leather!!!!!

phoenix dijo...

i've been away too long!! last time i was here it was a bible class! my mum'll never let me back now, you're sooo naughty.:-)

SpanishGoth dijo...

Leather is coming (not in an oo, ah, coming way) but grrrrr

I'm so naughty? Bollox - not me that's been dating more than blogging.

Goth Bond is due to come to a climax - no lobbing knickers please, unless you want to, as it is your right...

dip-dop-crabtree dijo...

Not badly of the whole, but! I loupé passage of Aston Martin DB5,
unless is not a Lotus Spirit or a lemon-yellow 2CV... "Only for your
eyes" It is necessary to say that I have to slip an aspirin into a
pirn of Coke cola, to strongly agitate it and to inflate some balloons
of goldbeater's skin to helium!!Car I stay very attentive with the
good unfolding of the situation.J' await the continuation with much
impatience!

kimmyk dijo...

Is it a bad thing that I'm slightly turned on by reading this? Just checkin'.

I never watched a James Bond movie before, but if they're all like this I might have to make a Blockbuster run.

Gorilla Bananas dijo...

As usual, Blowjob never finishes the job. No wonder Bond likes Pussy more than him.

SpanishGoth dijo...

Dip-dop -> the car is more important in the sequel. First, one must establish characters a La Bruyère

Kimmy -> amusing bearing in mind your recent posting about porn for females ;-)

GB -> as per usual, an acute observation (do female gorillas do oral?)