jueves, marzo 29, 2007

666 - The Number of The Beast

According to the bible, and lets face it - it's never wrong, 666 is the number of the beast. In revelations it says - 'Here is wisdom. Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast: for it is the number of a man; and his number is Six hundred threescore and six.

Now, I'm not a huge fan of the bible but Iron Maiden also said it was so in their song Number of the Beast. Now if Iron Maiden say it then it must be true right? This is after all the most successful Metal band in the world. The first heavy metal band to have a number one single in the UK charts with the delicately titled 'Bring Your Daughter to the Slaughter' - ha put that in your pipe and smoke it Avril Poxy Lavigne.

I mean, Iron Maiden sing about serious topics. It's not like they headline the Monsters of Rock Festival, bound onto stage shouting "ALRIGHT DONNIGTON - ARE YOU READY TO ROCK?". A hundred thousand metal-heads get ready to head bang like never before. Power cords and rhythmic drumming get the crowd bouncing as one and then they start singing "All the little flowers are happy, all the little birdies are too tweet, tweet, tweet....". Exactly ! No they bloody do NOT.

So how gutted was I to find out that 666 is not the number of the beast at all. No ring tone, not even a bloody answerphone with a cool message like "Sorry, satans not available right now - he's out busy causing havoc, please leave a message after the scream". Nothing. Nada. Zip. Bastards !!!

I was so looking forward to winding the twat up. You see, in my head, I pictured his place like a huge overcrowded bar and the beast, there like the barman answering the phone and shouting for attention as I rang.

"Hello, can I speak to Mr Hunt please? First name's Mike"
(the beast shouting out) "Has anyone seen Mike Hunt?"
*cue laughter at my end and in the beasts pad*
"You again you snivelling little wretch - when I find you I'll....."


or

"Mr Jass please, his first name if Hugh"
"Come on everyone, listen up - I'm after a Hugh Jass"
"bwahahahahhaha"
"Why you little.......when I get hold of you"

But no - they lied, they all lied, it's not the number of the beast at all and now I'll have to find another way to entertain myself.

Number of the beast - my arse !!

*wanders off to think of something else*

13 comentarios:

Drama Queen dijo...

I heard he got caller display after hearing your call was coming. He hates competition.

SpanishGoth dijo...

Better be taking mine off speed-dial then eh?

dip-dop-crabtree dijo...

L'Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobie !!!

Ronald Reagan et sa femme à Los Angeles, ont fait changer le numéro de leur résidence 666 Street Cloud Road, pour 668bis??

la Grande-Bretagne ,supprime les immatriculations comprenant le chiffre 666, jugé diabolique ??

La somme de tous les nombres de 1 à 36 (1 + 2 + 3 + ... + 35 + 36) donne 666 !
vilaine bébête!!

zoe dijo...

what's your obsession with the bible ?

SpanishGoth dijo...

Makes me laugh.....it was meant to be more about Iron Maiden as that's what came on my Muppet-3 on the train this morning.

James dijo...

Iron Maiden - The Number Of The Beast was the second albumn I ever bought. And I just checked - released exactly 25 years ago today! That's requires celebration.

SpanishGoth dijo...

Indeed - break out the Jack Daniels and toast to Eddie !

Ha - looking for pics I found this quote on Wikiwoo "A group of Christian activists went on to destroy Iron Maiden records" therefore in celebration, a group of Iron Maiden activists should do the reverse - ROCK ;-)

dip-dop-crabtree dijo...

Zut ! et re zut !

I am not enough rock’n roll? but good I again never saw Iron Maiden, or the beast,
bof!

Drama Queen dijo...

I'd be far too scared to burn the bible.

*yikes*

SpanishGoth dijo...

Who said anything about burning the bible? I've asked for the loan of some lions.......

Rebecca dijo...

You are wildly entertaining.

Calamity Jane dijo...

Where I used to work we had a director who's name was Mr Hunt - we referred to him as Whatack.

SpanishGoth dijo...

Welcome Rebecca, beautiful young ladies are always welcome in Goth World (never too much of a good thing methinks)

CJ -> LOL don't know if you remember the Nescafe adverts with Gareth Hunt (he of the Avengers) but the Hunt we worked with, would be referred to as G *shake fist in a shaking coffee beans way* which, bizarrely enough, also looked like another action........which had nothing to do with coffee :-))