miércoles, marzo 07, 2007

So, a Penguin Walked into a Pub

So, a penguin, an elephant and a walrus walked into a pub and, hilarity ensued. What fucking pub is that then? I'm going to the wrong ones. When I walk into a pub, it's full of idiots who don't know how to order a drink, don't acknowledge the FACT that bar staff are people also, and can't spot 'personal space' until you whack them in the head with a wet haddock.

A pub is a place where you go for a drink - not a fucking coffee, moron - and try to relax. Many years ago, Goth Master was a barman (and a very good one I might add) and thus GM knows the rules. Good bar people are exactly that - good people. They are not there to be your personal servants just because you are buying a drink. If you want a servant, buy a teddy bear, become homosexual and have shit loads of money. In the meantime, fuck off out of space and get a life.

Toffee nosed twats get upset when I get served before them "Oh I say, I was jolly in the queue before you" - "Yeah, and you were a complete twat before I was and your point is what?!!!".

I can go to a pub and have a conversation about existentialism, philosophy, civil war or how big are her tits? and generally this will be with the bar person, not some person I have brought along because I don't have the ability to connect with people or I have no friends, in the world, ever. It's part of the joy really. Not knowing where the conversation might flow. One thing I do know however, is that I will get served before most because I have one thing.....

It's not shit loads of money, it's not the knowledge to talk down to barstaff, it's not the fact that the barstaff want to fuck me, the one thing that I have is .....

RESPECT

So, take a bow 'Angels of Mercy' - you know who you are if you've ever served me or one of my army of kindred spirits. I may not always tip you, on account of finances being tighter than a ducks arse but, if you're on my side of the bar, I will chuck one onto my ever expanding tab for you.

hasta luego,
S

14 comentarios:

Drama Queen dijo...

Well in agreement. I used to waitress at football functions through Uni. What offended me the most was the amount of phone numbers and room cards I got given from business men. Like I was some poor, loose Julia Roberts in need of saving from a rich business man. More so they assumed I would jump at the chance and be at their room that night. Especially since they left a 20 quid tip.

I was a f#cking student. It was not my life long career choice. And no harm done if it was.

SpanishGoth dijo...

Cool - now you're f#cking.....not me (more's the pity)

I can shave you - if needed. I would also jump, at the chance, to give you flowers and for you to see beyond my facade to the real me

*bows and retreats*

Drama Queen dijo...

Shave me or save me?

SpanishGoth dijo...

Shave - I was being silly. It's not so funny in retrospect (and obviously, I meant your legs not your *slaps himself in the face for being silly*)

Drama Queen dijo...

#ahem#

Bit quiet in here today isn't it?

You think the shave talk scared them off? Maybe they think we want to be alone for a while.

Hill dijo...

Angels of Mercy, yes. And absolutely some of the best listeners in the world!

SpanishGoth dijo...

The gorgeous Hill is back - "arite luv"

DQ -> think everyone got frightened off by Horace ?!

Teeny dijo...

I've never been a barmaid but I have worked in the service industry so I KNOW about rude members of the public, and I always wait patiently to be served. Unfortunately this normally means I wait 20 mins to get my drink while the rude people get served first. Ho hum.

phoenix dijo...

also a problem at the other side of a shop counter and pretty much life in general. Sorry state of affairs really. Always treat others as you would like to be treated. Must admit though i do like it when (usually) men with a bit of cash come in my shop talk to me like a piece of dirt and treat me like i'm stupid, then ask for discount and to see the guy who owns the said shop, and get a nice wee surprise when i tell thm they are actually talking to her.Shuts them up quick smart.I off course look far too young and pretty to know how to run a business ;-)

bananas62 dijo...

I've taken a fancy to Mailbu and Pineapple juice lately...:-)
Actually, Respect is all I have for Bartenders and anyone who might have to wait on the public. John Q Public is generally a dick, and as the drama queen said a "rich business man" who assume they are the hottest thing since sliced bread, cuz, they;re a rich business man... too bad they can't buy a clue!

Lynx dijo...

Got to agree. It's amazing how many people in Brussels can converse fluently in about 4 languages, but haven't learnt the words "please" or "thank you". Surely a bit of common courtesy is not too much to ask for?

I see that the Mancs got through tonight. Hope it was less stressful than the first leg.

SpanishGoth dijo...

Teeny -> no problemo, the next round is on me and I will be getting served first

Phoenix -> trust me, I know you're young and pretty and also, look pretty hot naked ;-)

Bananas -> "too bad they can't buy a clue! " LOL - I'm loving it :-)

Lynx -> nice to see you round again, 5 languages if you include 'Stupidese' and no, the game was not less stressful but a win is a win ;-)

supergirlest dijo...

ah yes... you would be a dream bar guest for certain!!! i totally hear drama queen, too! my favorites were the snot nosed boys that liked to throw about such phrases as, "don't you know who i'am?" or "why don't you smile?" when i was 10 deep at the bar. my response? "i'm not your fucking monkey." teeheeeheee!

SpanishGoth dijo...

What do you mean would be.....*taps fingers on the bar* I am ;-)

Incidentally, my fave put-down was when I was serving 5 or so customers and some arrogant prick said "humph - no chance of getting served today then?" I would reply, whilst still serving "With that fucking attitude, no chance of getting laid either"

Glad to see you back round GothWorld my love - hope sicky stuff cleared up now