No matter which country I travel to, I am comforted by the fact that Paddy or his family have got there first. The main reason for this is that Irish bars feckin rock! I find it loathsome that the golden arches of Ronald McWanker and his piss-burgers are everywhere but, seeing the Guiness sign in a foreign country is quite frankly, rather soothing.
I'm not quite as keen on the naming conventions for said hostelries - the bizarre mix between local language and Irish can be, at times, positively comical - take a bow 'Gunther Murphys' (Munich) for example - almost like two pissed language trains crashing head on.
It's a feeling of homeliness that is generated by the staff - if you know the rules of the game. DO NOT ask for an Irish Coffee when the barman is rushed of his feet - this will result in large mutterings of 'feckin twat - feckin thinks he's Bing feckin Crosby'. Do ask for pints, and make it clear which beer you would like "can I have a pint please?" - " a pint of what? - feckin water". There is also a directness which is based on logic but underlined with attitude - "Can I have a small pint of lager please?" - "We only have one size pint fer fecks sake!".
Being Welsh by origin, I have a natural affinity with the Irish and can understand the language quite easily. By this, I don't mean Gaelic, I mean the version of English they use. For example (and I'll spell this as it's spoken) - "So, yer man is a feckin idjut" - yes, I concur, said chappie is jolly silly.
Generally, Irish bars are very good places to watch sports - football, rugby and the other sports. Except, for some reason, in Italy. I assume this is the exception that proves the rule. Cue The Old Stove, (Florence) and the pub that was named after her. Watching an important game of football, an FA Cup tie, the aforementioned fat slapper decided to change the channel 5 minutes before the end of the game. To.......basketball. What the fuck? Not even to a basketball game but to the preliminary bullshit beforehand. Now I'm not an expert but, Italy won the World Cup in football, in basketball they have won precisely fuck all. Why change the channel? Because Rosie O Barrell (roll me in flour and look for the wet patch if you want a shag) had decided it would be so - lard arse!
However, a few pints later and I am back to thinking there is something about the Irish that I love. Happy hour - drinks half price. Cool, what time does it start? "Never feckin finishes - now what d'ya want ya bollucks?". You know it's closing time when either the beer runs out or.....well, that's about it really.
Smoking ban? I believe it's active in Ireland but in Bruxelles, it's kind of inactive. No smoking says the sign - as the barman takes another puff on his cigarette. "Is there a no-smoking area?" asks the toffee nosed Eurocrat "Sure there is" replies the barman "it's outside the feckin door - as much free air as you want - now feck off".
Coming up this weekend is Paddy's Day (officially, St Patricks Day) - simplistically, this entails every Irish person in the world getting pissed simultaeneously. I'm not sure what it does for world peace but it certainly means some of the world pissed. To facillitate the celebrations, the rugby organisers of the six nations have kindly arranged that Scotland will play France in Paris on the day. I don't know exactly what will ensue but I can guarantee that Paris will be one big party on Saturday. I don't really care much about rugby but I will be rooting for the Irish in Italy, drinking with the Irish who couldn't find their way to Italy and I hope Ireland, Scotland and Wales all win (it's a Celtic thing ;-)
So, raise your glasses, of guiness preferably but anything alcoholic will do and Sláinte - another step toward World Peesed.
24 comentarios:
I once walked into a bar in the Irish countryside on a day in May and asked the landlord when it closed.
"November," came the reply.
And the Scots are in Paris this weekend, not the feckin' Irish.
Idjit :-)
ah well - you're all the same really (after a few tinnies)
Cheers to you too.
And thanks for lumping as all together Goth, never knew you to be so inhospitable.
Actually I never get to go to Irish bars, much. Boyfriend hates them.
Says they are “After bein’ taken over by Orish Bastards” and he’s spent his whole life “trying to get away from Oreland”.
Lumping who together? I don't do lumping - sounds contagious and decidely not sqidgy.
I can understand why BF doesn't want to go to Irish bars but to me, it's simple (no pissing about trying to order what the locals have - you gets what you're given).
"ah well - you're all the same really"
As in the Scots and the Irish are all the same? I call THAT 'lumping' (or in my case, with BF, I call it HUMPING.
Ooops - got side-tracked by the thought of DQ humping and *splat* walked straight into the door.
That was meant for T-Meister. I have nothing against any country or person from there. And, missy, I could have been implying that after I'd had a few tinnies....etc
The key to Goth's inability to tell the difference between Celts is that he doesn't care, as long as it's not the English.
That's OK, Goth, I like you anyway.
i just love pubs, they're where you can drink, then get drunk.Irish,Scottish,English,Welsh who cares (although i do like the wee shamrock they make with the nozzle of the guinness pump in the Irish pubs)as long as there's alcohol i'm there!
I've found that the phrase "you're all the same really", is quite likely to get me a slap. I really don't understand it. Here are a few of the combinations of people I've tried it out on: Yorkshire + Lancashire, Northern + Southern Irish, Celtic + Rangers fans, Flems + Wallies, Brazilians + Argentinians, Austrians + Germans.
Partook in a wee Orish bar last night. The one Tippler is raving about over at place. T'was good. But I did stay away from the toilets. . .
Aunty M -> how can you be so cruel? I hate the english? Not at all - some of my best ex-friends are english, not to mention my ex-wifelette
Phoenix -> totally agree, love all pubs (except the ones that are closed ;-)
Lynx -> indeed, I used the phrase to wind Tippler up but he was obviously down the pub again and didn't respond
DQ -> I sooooo nearly went to Vals last night but got sidetracked by ein berliner in Tittys
Wouldn't that have been funny! Do you think we would have identified each other. . .? That is if we both knew the other was going to be there.
Good question my love - but then again there is an extremely high probability that we have been in the same place, at the same time already......apart from the same bed that is *winks*
Goth Master, didn't I read somewhere that you might go to Val's last night or am I mistaken? DQ, I'm sure you would have identified each other. The Goth Master would have kept staring at you anyway, because you're a tall blonde mignonne à croquer, then you would have realised he fits the Goth description and would have approached him and said: 'The Expat Goth, I presume?'.
I like Irish pubs too, Guinness mostly and all dark beers in general. Had one pint + 2 or 3 halves last night at OF's (btw, no Tippler in sight over there either). I must complain though: the music was once again way too loud and I hate having to shout and make people constantly repeat what they say to me.
Do you read me, Lynx? I had a PINT, might not be ladylike according to you but I assure you I behaved like a proper lady. You might witness it sometime as we can identify each other now.
I will most certainly enter any Irish pub I stumble across in Paris this week-end. It can be full with all sorts of Brits and Celts, no prob with me as I like them all.
Oh Minky I always drink a pint. And was delighed to discover Magners last night at my new drinking establishment.
(By discover I mean in this country, I discovered actual Magners years ago when it was branded as a lesser known Bulmers)
That's what I said Minky, I had intended to go to Vals but got sidetracked by a young blonde lady in A.N.Other Irish bar.
I wouldn't have kept staring at all but I might have felt at home in the Gothic surroundings.
As for Lynx, I can assure you he had rather more than 1 pint when I saw him wobble out of The Franklin on Wednesday evening circa 22:24.
Not sure about going into an Irish bar in Paris this weekend though - if you are anywhere near Stade de France, you'll be lucky to get in to a pub let alone get served.
I would recommend dining out in the Latin Quarter on Saturday night though :)
Ooops - sorry DQ, nearly bumped into you then and spilled my drink on you (forgive me, I'll lick it off if you wish).
Magners is available in quite a few bars in Bruxelles but generally in bottles.
Ah well then, I will have to stick to the Scots in Montmartre on Saturday evening and try some Oirish pub on Sunday or Monday, when the city of Lights will be somewhat quieter.
Never tasted Magners, so I'll have that in Val's, a new taste in a new pub sounds like a must. DQ, will you join me then?
But I do bottles. I just don't frequent Schuman very often (read; never). Nor do I hang out in Orish bars. So I still get excited about the availability of a rare Strongbow. Minky, its date. I stay two minutes away and can safely stumble home. . .
I think there must have been a case of mishtaken identity, as I didn't go to any bars on Wednesday. I've got a 240€ parking ticket to pay, so all I did was nip down the Marmaris grill on Willemsstraat, to get a durum kebap and a can of Jupe.
Besides, I'd never be seen leaving the Franklin at 22:34, as it's normally the last port of call when all other bars are closed. 02:34 maybe...
Oops, that should read speeding ticket! Even so, it's bloody steep!
Minky -> ha, DQ will meet you but not me.....must have been something I didn't say
DQ ->
Lynx -> winding you up matey but 240 euros for speeding - what bloody speed were you doing? Light speed?
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