miércoles, enero 10, 2007

Cold Weather

I am so unused to all this water falling from the sky. This just doesn't happen in Spain and I can't say that I enjoy it. I may be a Gothic Pisces but I hate water. Example, if I go to the beach and someone asks if I want to go swimming in the sea - yeah, right - why would I want to do that when I can remain perfectly dry enjoying a drink on a terrace overlooking the beach? And if the 'camarero/a' asks if I want water with my whisky I go crazy - perfectly stupid idea.

Anyway, this falling water, known as rain apparently, succeeded in giving me a cold and causing me to feel like 'seven shades of shit in a one shit trumpet'. I don't like feeling like shit - few people do but the male of the species are particularly bad and wimpy about it. 'Oh no' *sniffles* 'I may have a cold and cannot do anything today my dear'. Compared to a female's attitude to pain etc it's a wonder men ever won any wars. But then again, we (males) do seem to start most of them.

Even Joan of Arc didn't start any - she just kicked ass. Which makes me wonder - if she was such a great fighter all the time, she must have been scary as fook when it was her 'time of the month'. Glad I wasn't alive during that period ;-)

So, it's taken over 24 hours to feel half-human again. Which is probably an improvement on where I started in the first place. Unfortunately, when I feel sick my ability to speak any languages fades rapidly - my brain does an emergency braking manoeuvre. I can't ask for help as this usually occurs when no one who speaks my 'mother-tongue' is around for advice and becomes a lunatic cry for help. I have received so many strange things from pharmacies in different countries - from my first shot at explaining in German that I had a headache which came out as 'I am sick in the head' to my latest bodge. No wonder the woman pharmacist wondered what I was talking about when I asked in French to get 'something I could put up my nose that made me feel better'.

At least I didn't get arrested this time. She probably thought I was talking Flemish or something equally impossible for me to achieve with a brain the size of a pickled egg. Nearly all better now as I went to get my favourite remedy for said cold. Whisky (to be mixed with hot water and honey) not drunk straight from the bottle while singing Neil Young songs at a railway station. Hopefully I should save a packet on tissues.

I suppose buying an umbrella would help but, bizarrely enough I have loads of them in Spain. Relics from my previous lifetime in the Sprout. Fat lot of use they are there - except maybe for poking undesirables in the head. Seems a better idea to just stay in bed and leave the warrior queens to deal with the muppets. Then I could just emerge from under the covers, step over the deceased muppets and go to a bar and laugh about it with all the other wimpy males who had the same battle plan ;-)

a luego, *sneezes*
S

4 comentarios:

MKWM dijo...

*Bless you*

Drama Queen dijo...

Poor golly goth boy. . .stay dry
;-)

Old Broad dijo...

I do hope you are feeling better. Nothing like some good booze to help the sickies.
And OMG! Neil Young songs???? A sure cure for what ails you.
Yup, it's me. The former Hill.
I PROMISE I will work on that poem. I have been putting it off 'cause baby, I just ain't a poet. Maybe I'll get my copy of "Hope is the Thing with Feathers" and try to get inspired. You are probably spitting now, right? LOL!!!

SpanishGoth dijo...

Thankyou ladies. The whisky did indeed help - a quite marvellous creation.

And no I'm not spitting, too busy grinning at the ex-writer's mental block with another genre ;-)