miércoles, enero 24, 2007

A Gothic Intro to Philosophy (101)

So, returning to matters of far less importance than yesterdays slap on the wrist for China (get back to the kitchen now) I give you the introduction to Philosophy in Goth World. Kick back, take it in (or don't) - my blog and I can write whatever I jolly well choose.

"Life's a piece of shit, when you think of it" -> Monty Python. Yeah well, Monty must have been married, or tried public transport in Belgium or perhaps even both. Not allowed to see my offspring as I don't pay all ex-goths bills - fook the fact that she burned her way through more of the money I earned faster than a firestarter with a tanker of petrol and a box of matches. On top of that, when I did finally leave (banging my head against a wall was creating severe headaches) I let her keep everything, except my underpants and my guitar. Public transport here in Belgium just sucks. Still better than the yUK though - which isn't exactly hard.

"I think, therefore I am" -> Descartes. Hmm, I drink therefore I am an alcoholic? I eat therefore I am a pig? I have sex and therefore I cum? I smoke therefore I am illegal (oh shit, no, I'm actually on fire) - Sorry, Des and your cartes, I could plead guilty to all and also deny all. I drink and therefore I am drunk - hooray, much simpler.

"Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer" -> Sun Tzu. A nice idea in principle but also flawed. I don't have any friends - kind of pisses on that idea then. I suppose I could make some papier-mache friends and have tea parties but then I would have to learn ventriloquism (the art of throwing one's voice). Boring conversations though.... "More tea vicar?" - "ess, id like dat pease, ow and get ur hand out of me bum".

"The shortest way to enlightenment is..." -> Confucious (renamed confusing in modern English). There is a second half to the statement but I got sidetracked by the chopsticks. I collect them, for no other reason than they make you feel big and clever in an oriental restaurant. Apart from the soup dish which takes fooking ages to eat with said chopsticks. Can't catch flies with the barsteward things either. Shit worked in the Karate Kid :-(

"I think the Oedipus complex is very true" -> Ziggy Freud. Freud, this is for you alone weirdo. I love my mum but apparently not in the same way you loved yours. No wonder he kept harping on about the "So" *strokes beard* "tell me about your mother" shite......him, not me I might add. If there's going to be any weird shite in my family I want to know beforehand so I can book vacations to the moon in time. Like the Reverend Bill Bailey warned *sing-a-long Chris de Burgh style* "Cousin in red, is dancing with me - beard to beard". Sorry Ziggy, way off my beaten track but I also recognise the time to run away really fast.

"Be Excellent to Each Other" - Bill S Preston Esquire and Ted Theodore Logan - together, the Wyld Stallions from Bill and Teds Excellent adventure (kind of the same as Give Peace a Chance by John Lennon). If only we could all keep to this mantra - things would be so much simpler. Then again we could all smoke drugs and think that living on a yellow sumarine was a really good idea.

Discuss the relative merits of arachnapobia and thus spraying water everywhere in the shower against climbing a tree in South America and battling poison frogs.

ala,
S

14 comentarios:

Drama Queen dijo...
Este comentario ha sido eliminado por el autor.
Drama Queen dijo...

Great post Goth. Sure did make me giggle.

(*laughs nervously and hopes that was what you were going for*).

Count me amongst your friends but remember today you’ll probably get better banter out of the paper head brigade (you know, you’ve been on my site).

But I will stay awhile if only to look pretty.

(*pulls up a chair and waits patiently for her promised back rub*)

Old Broad dijo...

Bwahahahahahaha. Bill & Ted. For sure, dude.
The others can just bite me.

MKWM dijo...

Very interesting intro, Goth Master. Here is Plato's reply:

"You are young, my son, and, as the years go by, time will change and even reverse many of your present opinions. Refrain therefore awhile from setting yourself up as a judge of the highest matters".

Lynx dijo...

I have to say, I'd go with Python and Bill & Ted, rather than the old, dead guys.
Maybe you need some philosopy from the other eastern masters, namely Mister Miyagi and the old guy from Kung Fu ("Grasshopper, when you can walk on the rice paper but leave no trace, then you will have learnt [something deep and meaningful]").
Incidentally, there was a nice homage type thing to Kung Fu in an episode of Lizzie McGuire. I'm not sure that admitting to an enciclopedic knowledge of the Hilary Duff's back catalogue is a good thing; but hey, that's what happens when you spend too long in Brussels' premier sports bar and grill, and then come home and post replies to Goth philosophy!

Somehow I've got to go to work in the morning and pretend I'm a sensible IT professional (as if that exists)!

Lynx dijo...

What also happens is that you can't spell encyclopedic!
I guess I really must be a geek, if I'm correcting spellings when drunk!

msliberty dijo...

Bill and Ted...hhehehehehehe

SpanishGoth dijo...

Sorry not to have responded earlier but thanks to a certain company who (shall remain nameless instead of just useless) I got to piss off home early.

Sorry DQ - would have love to rub your......
(leave the end off that like you did yesterday *winks suggestively*)

For those of you in the know, you will have noticed my distinct lack of a mention of Nietzsche....

Encyclopaedic? hmm. Sensible IT professional - do I sense a metaphorical dig in the ribs there?

MKWM dijo...

A geek..pffff... that e-stuff must be all Greek to you, just like "enciclopedic". Lynx, it's Thursday and I gather you'll board the eurotart as soon as sober... Maybe I'll finally meet you next week, who knows. Meanwhile, listen to the old dead Aristotle: "Wit is educated insolence".

Master Goth, warum nicht Nietzsche?

SpanishGoth dijo...

Because he is one of the few that I actually do carry a modicum of respect for. And, as per usual, he gets 'attached' to the nazis of all bloody things.

To paraphrase 'who made the bigger mistake, Goth inventing Man or Man inventing Goth'?????

MKWM dijo...

That is indeed a very good question... I remain speechless.

Lynx dijo...

Goth, the sensible It person quote was aimed at myself; but if the cap fits... :-)

Besides, if we wanted to be sensible we should have become accountants!

MKWM, I will be departing for the Eurostar in a matter of moments; but I will return next Monday for more fun in the sun.

MKWM dijo...

Oh dear, I'm so sorry I missed your departure time... Better late than never, here I am on the platform, waving farewell with my scarf.

"Au revoir, Lynx, le lundi au soleil... c'est quelque chose qu'on n'aura jamais".

SpanishGoth dijo...

I thought you were supposed to insert the cap? Last time I 'read' Just Seventy magazine whilst sitting in the waiting room I'm sure that's what it said? Must need to visit the opticians more - ok Lynx, you can come with me....if you think you've seen the sun in Bellendgium you need to also.