So, every successful super hero needs an accomplice. Well, all the balanced ones do. Without balance, ying and yang etc, we all tend to head toward the mental/crazy side of our personalities and thus implode in the sea of impropriety. Thus, to my raging bull of insanity cometh the butterfly of love known as mi mariposa.
Why am I burbling on about this nonsense you might ask? Because I was suitably freaked out by mi mariposas actions yesterday. My intentions were clear enough - get up when I bloody felt like it, go for Chinese together (thus covering the 'eat food' bit without actually cooking) and then Gothman gets to watch football whilst Bobbin goes and strokes small furry animals. Simple....or so it seemed.
Gothman went to drink beer with his fellow superhero - Wordboy (otherwise known as the T-Meister) whilst Bobbin did shopping, and other female related activities (I mean, for stuff she wanted...not bloody food and crap like that). Suffice to say the superhero convention went on slightly longer than intended and thus Gothman got into a spot of trouble that the magic cape could not undo. When I finally descended to the Goth Cave - I was in deep shit.....the sort that needs a Very Long Rope of Apology to get out of. Fortunately, said rascal was lurking on my utility belt. Wordboy got into the act and dangled his VLRoA invitingly before Bobbin via a phone call before realising that he too was in deep shit also and had to a) get his own VLRoA out and b) go running, in superhero style, to the supermarket to buy breakfast items for the following day.
Then came the bombshell - "nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition"!!. 'We were going out - remember?' said Bobbin. Gothman had to do a quick reality check (as well as looking at his Superhero diary) before realising that Bobbin was indeed correct. Thus, an immediate 'SUYT - sober up you twat' pill had to be taken from the Goth utility belt. An hour or so later, we jumped onto the Goth-mobile and headed back into the fight against corruption, sanity and alcohol.
I have to say, I was extremely impressed with Bobbins level of consumption - although I dare say we may not be rescuing anyone today. I tried valiantly to maintain pace with my young apprentice but even I, Gothman, was flabbergasted when Bobbin wanted to go for more when the first two hostelries had closed. Suitably impressed, I was dragged kicking and screaming....ok, that's a blatant lie - I said 'oh, go on then' to the next bar-type place. We laughed, we drank, we did things in slow motion - a true measure of superhero-ness and before the credits started rolling, I phoned Alfred the butler to come and pick us up in the Gothmobile.
Don't know what time Bobbin and I returned except to say that Cat Stevens would have been proud - morning had indeed broken. Today, using my superhero powers of foresight, contains a lot of drinking water (gallons of the boring stuff) to readdress the damage done. I don't like liver but I realise that the little rascal can come in handy.
Moral to this story - Don't drink and drive.....drink like a fish and pay someone else to drive!!!
(dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner - GOTHMAN!!) <- theme tune ;-)