European law makers - don't you just love them - NOT. Got well and truly dismayed on my return to my usual watering hole in the Sprout on my return from Spain. Walked in, as usual with a cigarette in one hand hoping to get balanced by having a beer in the other hand when BOOM. The friendly barman says "Hello S - keep walking"
"What?" I answered assuming I had misheard. "Keep walking" he repeated. Increduously I enquired what the fook he was talking about. As he started to explain ... the penny dropped. The new No Smoking ban in force from 1st January in Mayo-land. Bloody Eurotwit politicians. Why don't they stop interfering and try masturbation or something equally solitary that by definition cannot impact me.
It's just not right. If I go to a pub it is to drink beer and while I'm drinking beer, I want a cigarette. I don't take my children to the pub, well I wouldn't if I could actually see them. I don't go to a pub to eat either so this ban shouldn't affect me but oh, no - because some people choose to bring their spawn of Satan to an adult watering establishment and to eat in a pub instead of going to a restaurant like normal people, I can't smoke there. Barstewards!!
Don't get me wrong, I'm not advocating you should take up smoking if you don't already but I do. It's not like I'm talking about bopping little old ladies over the head, or rogering squirrels. It's just smoking and I like it.
I suppose it's equally hard as I had just returned from Spain where people have a tendency to smoke where they want, when they want. While changing planes at Madrid's Barajas airport there were quite a few of us who gave up looking for a smoking area and just blazed up where we were.
Before you think I'm selfish about this, I'm not. I don't smoke in other people's houses if they are not already smokes and the same goes for cars. I wouldn't dream of having a cigarette if I could see someone eating. I also would not smoke in a petrol station or during the 'making babies' gymnastics. Or while underwater either for that matter.
Oh well, it's not like I actually vote so that I could get rid of the chinless, spineless, gormless ones passing these inane laws anyway. I'll just have to continue gobbing on every EC building I pass and accidentally on purpose elbowing or generally causing liquid spillage to any that enter my domain - my pub!
*grabs his packet of cigarettes and departs in a puff of smoke*