viernes, agosto 17, 2007

Thus God Invented Beards

'Fuckin hell' thought God, as he rushed around inventing stuff, muttering 'No way will I win this bet - 7 days and a bank holiday thrown in too' but, he perservered in a god-like fashion.

As he added the final touches to man, Mrs God shouted "Have you stopped fucking about in your shed yet?" which caused God to panic.

"Oh bollocks" said God, looking at the lifeless form he was preparing "Now I've put the head on upside down". But, before he had a chance to correct his new jigsaw puzzle, Mrs God yelled again.

With a flash of lightning, God gave life to man, whilst at the same time shouting "Yeah, be there in a minute dear" to Mrs God, who was busy laying the table with food for the Gods.

"Comig dear" exclaimed God, in a celestial manner and prepared himself for afternoon tea, trying to brush his fuck-up under the table and hope it would not be seen.

"What's this then?" asked man, stroking his new furry bit.

"That will be called a beard then" replied God "and you can use it to catch mice, or sweep the table, or.....

*BANG*

"Fucking hell, Mrs God is coming - quick, hide" said God.

"But what do I do with this beard thing?" asked man.

"Fucking improvise" replied God "And it will still look cool in the bible, until I set fire to it" and thus God left Man and his beard before he got into really deep shit.

Thus, man wandered off with his new beard thing, and woman was a bit pissed off as God had flung her beard in a casual way and it had only landed half-way up.

"Excellent" said man 28 days later "Caught a mouse then?"

and the rest is history........

9 comentarios:

john.g. dijo...

Told you he was a c*nt!!

SpanishGoth dijo...

Aye, and I told you that 'G had' was on the bog..roll thingy

Tom dijo...
Este comentario ha sido eliminado por el autor.
Tom Joad dijo...

Ah, yes. Mrs God - lovely girl but a bugger at parties after a Cinzano or two. If it's any consolation, Mme Joad has a very low opinion of beards. Especially on me.

And I had to delete the previous comment because it's late, I'm a bit pissed and I can't make all the buttons work on my computer. Bugger.

Stacie dijo...

Mrs. God???? I think I love you!
You're a hoot..
Stacie

SpanishGoth dijo...

Tom -> I hope she didn't spill it on Mrs Rossiter

ooo and pissed? read the next one

Stacie -> steady on tiger, Mariposa might get jealous

Mr Farty dijo...

Bugger, wish I could think of a witty comment.

*wanders off, mumbling*

JolietJake dijo...

"Comig dear", sounds like He had a cold, poor bastard (well, obviously he's got no money otherwise he would have got contractors in and there's no mention of his parents anywhere)

SpanishGoth dijo...

Mr Farty -> at least you admit it rather than searching for typos

JJ -> speaking of which