'Fuckin hell' thought God, as he rushed around inventing stuff, muttering 'No way will I win this bet - 7 days and a bank holiday thrown in too' but, he perservered in a god-like fashion.
As he added the final touches to man, Mrs God shouted "Have you stopped fucking about in your shed yet?" which caused God to panic.
"Oh bollocks" said God, looking at the lifeless form he was preparing "Now I've put the head on upside down". But, before he had a chance to correct his new jigsaw puzzle, Mrs God yelled again.
With a flash of lightning, God gave life to man, whilst at the same time shouting "Yeah, be there in a minute dear" to Mrs God, who was busy laying the table with food for the Gods.
"Comig dear" exclaimed God, in a celestial manner and prepared himself for afternoon tea, trying to brush his fuck-up under the table and hope it would not be seen.
"What's this then?" asked man, stroking his new furry bit.
"That will be called a beard then" replied God "and you can use it to catch mice, or sweep the table, or.....
"Fucking hell, Mrs God is coming - quick, hide" said God.
"But what do I do with this beard thing?" asked man.
"Fucking improvise" replied God "And it will still look cool in the bible, until I set fire to it" and thus God left Man and his beard before he got into really deep shit.
Thus, man wandered off with his new beard thing, and woman was a bit pissed off as God had flung her beard in a casual way and it had only landed half-way up.
"Excellent" said man 28 days later "Caught a mouse then?"
and the rest is history........