sábado, mayo 19, 2007

Oh Putain

A phrase taught to me by my little buddy from Marseilles and one that I was very grateful for. We, as a conglomerate of love, had run out of cigarettes. A foolish oversight granted, but snigger over your empty box of All Bran and let's see how funny you find it.

Anyway, I decided to brave the rain and go to the night-shop to purchase more cigarettes. A simple enough task one might think - walk to shop, avoid rain, buy ciggies and back home. I achieved the first bits ok, got to the said night-shop and then WHAM. Not the band - but a pussy of police (that's the plural). Yep, those mother-fuckers with the guns and an attitude problem. Every person in the shop is up against the wall, apart from the police because they have guns and bullets etc.

"OH PUTAIN !!" I exclaimed in my best Gothic whisper (rather loudly).

Every eye in the shop turned to look at me. "Monsieur?" said the assistant quivering. "Trois Marlboro lights si tu pait" I replied, too pissed to examine the evidence before my eyes.

The nearest policeman said nothing but motioned the assistant toward the counter with his gun. "Pas de sac merci" I said paying and heading for the door "Et bon soiree" I added before leaving a tout vitesse.

The person entering as I was leaving was immediately ushered against the wall by the police. I wobbled off dialing mi Mariposa to say "Weird as fuck what just happened and.....erm, I think I'm lost".

Funny old game this 'cops and robbers' thing.........

20 comentarios:

Cream dijo...

Are you sure you didn't stumble on a film set?
My mother used to say: "Oh, putain, alors!" at a drop of a hat.
But go and say:"Merde!" in front of her and you'd get a goog smack!

zoe dijo...

you just bought the fags and left ? with everybody up against the walls ? JC (not jesus christ) was never like that when i lived around there.

bloody foreigners.

Tippler dijo...

What exactly was in the cigarettes you'd already smoked...

Timbo dijo...

Oh that happens to me all the time.

SpanishGoth dijo...

Cream -> nope, done that stumbling onto film set thing before

Zoe -> Not JC, nearest night shop is at Monty

Tippler -> Fucked if I know

Timbo -> Cool, pick me up some tabs whilst you're there please ;-)

Honey dijo...

I'm gobsmacked did you go back to the shop the next day to find out what was going on? Glad you are ok though. Dangerous buisiness night shopping.

Princess of the Universe dijo...

Hmm, I think I'm a bit too english to grasp the not-so-subtle profanities in this post. However I must commend you for your coolness in the fact of a clearly bizarre situation.

kimmyk dijo...

Man you shoulda did some investigating. That woulda been great for the blog. Like an interview of sorts. Shit you need to start carrying around a camcorder or a camera for these moments.

So did you get your smokes?

SpanishGoth dijo...

Honey -> No I didn't go back to find out what the hell was going on. When in doubt, run away
(oh and Mariposa cried reading your blog..)

Princess -> I am always cool, partly why I haven't had the shit kicked out of me yet

Kimmy -> Here in Bruxelles, weird shit is always kicking off. Best method is to tut and walk away - and yes I got the smokes tx

Honey dijo...

cried? Why? That bad?!
any who, the madness continues, riots in my street.. I have the photos.. Brussels is blowing up and we are the first (european expat bloggers) to notice. Guys, you read it here first.

SpanishGoth dijo...

No, I think the crying was her empathy with your posting about Guilt.

As for Bruxelles 'blowing up' - do you live near Gare du Nord? Lot of blowing there I believe....

Brom dijo...

Should have gone back and asked for directions.

supergirlest dijo...

....so what IS putain?

sounds like something i'd stumble into - 'cept the cops here would be poppin' caps in asses wihtout thinking twice.

SpanishGoth dijo...

Brom -> you'll be taking the piss then. Go back? I'd rather sew my head to the carpet

K -> southern French but the Gendarme in Marse would be doing the same...

dip-dop-crabtree dijo...

Several things to say, first of all " la nuit tous les chats sont gris", next to Marseilles effectively one says "OH PUTAIN !!" And at our place "FI DE PUTAIN !!"This the south, and at last since that one said that to smoke is dangerous, this is an example!

In a police station:
- Then Sirs, the assessment of the night?
- 1500 cartridges of cigarettes and 100 kilos of carrots were stolen.
- You have a track?
- One seeks a rabbit which coughs.

SpanishGoth dijo...

Indeed Dip-Dop, but look what happened when Alice followed the rabbit.....

My name for her (my love, not Alice) is Mariposa and hers for me is Lapin Blanc.

And I try to avoid police stations - spent far too much time in them already thankyou

The Aunt dijo...

What a Monty Python sketch of an event.

SpanishGoth dijo...

You should have been there love - laugh, I nearly shat myself.

I wanted a beer also but was too afraid to spoil the moment....probably too pissed also but that's beside the point

japanesewhispers dijo...

This is true? What a fabulous story. I just love the way you dealt with it. Just give me the fags and I'll leave you to your own devices! FABULOUS!

SpanishGoth dijo...

Welcome JW -> yes it is indeed true - when in a situation like that my natural reaction is not to ask why something is happening. Far easier to ignore and hope it goes away....