domingo, julio 01, 2007

The Beginning

In the beginning, everything was black - and Goth loved this as it was cool and dark.


But some clever fucker wanted to have light. So Goth created light and thus, the not-so-clever now person said "Gadzooks" when they saw what they had done - to which Goth replied "Well, you insisted".

Then Goth had to go and invent stuff. Just because some silly twat wanted the lights on. So first, he invented the sea, but couldn't decide if it should be blue or green - Goth knew it shouldn't be yellow. Thus, the seas came, and they had nothing to do with Rye as that would be shit (but Goth hadn't invented shit yet). So the sea was blue, ish, if you squinted, but Goth hadn't invented eyes yet.

Then Goth invented the sky, and it was beautiful and pretty and so he invented clouds, that would piss on anyone's parade - purely because blue sky looked too tempting.

So Goth, in his infinite wisdom, invented land - which was kind of nice as it meant that nothing had to swim, they'd have a choice - unless they could fly. But at least they would have somewhere to land.

"Ah" thought Goth, "but what would have a choice?" - and thus, he had to invent stuff that walked or swam or flew. Basically, he was really busy for days.


And so, on Tuesday and Wednesday, Goth was busy inventing things - like jam, and toasters, and frogs, and armadillos and things that go "OOOO". Which was kind of cool for a while until Goth got bored and started inventing stupid stuff. "Bollocks, just superglue a beak on it"

"Master?" said Mini-Gothess, "How can it poo if it has no bum?" - 'Shit, hadn't thought about that' thought Goth. "And a front bum?" were the last words he heard. So Goth had to go away and think about the whole reproduction process.

'Shit, forgot about monkeys' thought Goth and thus the reproduction thing became a series of ooohs and aaahs and masturbation.

By Friday, Goth was really fed up with inventing things so he improvised a little and invented weekends away. Thus Saturday became the Sabbath - coming from 'Sbth the days Goths off'. (He had been working on tongues before he left).


And therefore it became Sunday too, for the lazy twats who were still pissed on Saturday - 'oo more wine please Mister Goth'.

And that's how it all started (ok, it's the short version but you really don't want the long one)

18 comentarios:

Hill dijo...

"Thus Saturday became the Sabbath - coming from 'Sbth the days Goths off'. (He had been working on tongues before he left)."

ROTFLMAO!!!

You really should volunteer to teach Sunday School in your local Baptist church. Do they have those over "there"?

zoe dijo...

not a bad start - something that i can use in an email, perhaps ...

kimmyk dijo...

I'm so thankful the seas were blue and not pee yellow. But you've got some explaining to do on the Red Sea my friend.

LOL @ front bum. LOL!!!! That made me chuckle.

SpanishGoth dijo...

Gall -> am teaching sunday school - at a pub near you soon

Zed -> might be an idea

Kimmy -> Moses's fault, the pissed twat fell in and so I had to rescue him

(Front-bum -> you can blame on mini-gothess....bless)

bananas62 dijo...

The front bum, lol!!!! my girls when they were younger... refered to it as... "po po in the front" funny either way as I see it! we all still know what is being said..

I'm afraid I have to agree with KimmyK about the sea not being piss yellow...Gross!!!!!

Hugs to my goth for adding a little humor to my sunday!!!

Honey dijo...

why oh why did you invent mosquitos? JUST NOT NECESSARY was it? NOT clever and NOT fun.
great now I know who to blame for everything.
cheers

Stacie dijo...

Are you responsible for spiders too? Cuz I gotta take issue with that...

Pour some of that wine for me would ya?
Stacie

Drama Queen dijo...

> (had to laugh today as someone had confused DQ with Mariposa - wished me happy birthday)

What's that about? And if you are BF does that make you 29?!

Tippler dijo...

Doing my bit for the Power of Darkness.

Got my black Calvin Kleins on.

Knew you'd be interested...

Drama Queen dijo...

I'm all ears Tip. . .

Tippler dijo...

No you're not, DQ.

Well, not when I last took a peek...

SpanishGoth dijo...

Bananas -> that's kids for you, always best with the phrases

Honey -> I didn't invent mosquitoes, they just got under the net

Stacie -> I like spiders because I hate flies

DQ -> Yeah, I saw that and no I'm not 29 nor Oirish

Tippler -> hmmmmmmm

DQ + Tippler -> this is not a dating service (seem to remember someone else saying that ;-)

Drama Queen dijo...

But I only saw YOU say it over at Phoenix's. . .who else said it?

And boys, plenty of love for two!

You Sick Bastard! dijo...

The Goth needs assistant. I'll offer my assistance but the U.S. is having a goth deficit.

PI dijo...

I've never seen a 'wine dark sea' I think Byron made it up!

SpanishGoth dijo...

DQ -> don't remember but it made me laugh (think it was related to our 'virtual' affair)

YSB -> You can be an honourary Goth for having such a cool name

Pat -> You just holiday in the wrong places ;-)

Drama Queen dijo...

Aw I wanted to laugh too. . .

SpanishGoth dijo...

DQ -> I'll give you a clue, it was someone from America (female)