martes, julio 17, 2007

What a Stunt, Goth

Simplistically, my task was rather straightforward. Mariposa wanted a bicycle for her birthday, so I went and I bought one for her.

Siempre - Done..

No issue - I just buy the bike and then Mariposa has a 'Happy Birthday' and everything is fine. But, Mariposa has to complicate matters - Goth has to get a bike too. Who will she ride with otherwise ?

Shit - I didn't realise this was turning into 'Smokey and the Bandit'.

Hence, we end up with two bikes (neither of which have engines) - far too much un-like 'Goth in 60 Seconds'. We could have stolen Ferraris or Aston Martins or anything but, no, it has to be bikes.

So, now Goth has 2 bikes - with pedals, to feel free like the wind, when you're going downhill, and get taxis back uphill or the Metro, or anything that doesn't involve effort.

Except, Mariposa wants to play with her new toy.

But, she cannot stay in a straight line, or turn, or signal or ride.

Shit, I know I can't swim so, I don't go near water.

However, I perservere, as one does with people they love.

*"FUCKING HELL"* ------- CRASH -
(That will be Goth going over the handlebars)

Hmmm, that will be Goth proving he can't fly for shit then (but saving Mariposa from looking like a raspberry that's been twatted with a hammer).

And then the blood flows. But that's ok, I have at least 8 pints before I run out.

I tried the judo roll, but the shit happened too fast.

So now Goth is reduced to C3PO status - walking like a spastic and muttering "I am fluent in 6 million dialects master (which all involve alcohol) - R U Pissed 2? is that you?"

Space cadets, Goth can provide you with the proof - Bloggers you have heard of have seen and stared at these wounds.

It fucking hurt.... a lot.

*wanders off looking for the rest of his elbows*

20 comentarios:

zoe dijo...

watching you wobble to the bar yesterday was like watching the tin man with cystitis. has the elbow swollen down a bit yet ?

BWAHAHAHAHAHA sorry, but you did look funny, dear.

SpanishGoth dijo...

Don't do cystitis - don't do cycles any more either. Fucking stupid things....

laura dijo...

I think a cane would suit you.

Mr. X dijo...


The things we do for those we love...

(Sorry, couldn't help sniggering a bit!)

SpanishGoth dijo...

Laura -> Prefer an umbrella - it has that pointy bit for killing grannies

Mr X -> It was ok as the Wodka was in her little basket - if not, I would have been well pissed off

Brom dijo...

You sure it wasn't a lightning induced "event" brought on as a result of the previous post?

Stacie dijo...

I sure hope you have a lot of band-aids over your way, but somehow I have a feeling Goths don't do band-aids. Ah well then, carry a bottle of JD in your pocket and be careful not to land on it when next you careen over the handlebars.

Teeny dijo...

I fully sympathise - I went over the handlebars on my bike when I was eight, and I've only just finished paying for the damage it did.

Sending you healing thoughts!

The Aunt dijo...

Ummm. Laura's right. Would you like to borrow my walking stick?

I should have thought of that. Sorry.

Gorilla Bananas dijo...

You should have got a tandem so she would have fallen down with you. Love means sharing the pain.

Cupid Stunt dijo...

You went cycling with Mariposa because you love her. That's sweet, even if you did have a prang.

SpanishGoth dijo...

Brom -> god has no ears, she's female, and black, and a lesbian and thinks Scientology is really funky

Stacie -> tx, was enjoying the blood too much to arrange a concert

Teeny -> tx, it wasn't the going over bit so much as my foot getting stuck in the frame. I would have got a 9 out of 10 for the roll otherwise

Aunty M -> could have used the walking stick - could still use it to up-end people

GB -> I thought about a tandem but figured I'd be too lazy to peddle

Cupid -> Of course I love her, doesn't make it hurt any less

bananas62 dijo...

OW!!!! my Goth friend! *i'm pouring you a shot of JD, and since I don't want to see you drink alone... one for me too and cuz frankly I need a shot!*
How cool!! you did something for your loved one even though it wasn't something your were thrilled about doing! But I've got to ask... is the new bike not looking so new anymore???

SpanishGoth dijo...

Bananas -> it's because of her I was on the blasted thing in the first place *swigs from JD bottle* but, I'm not getting beaten up by concrete *spits on stupid floor*

Scouse Doris dijo...

Are you going to have some interesting Gothic scars?

SpanishGoth dijo...

Doris -> Already got scars thankyou but I'm not showing you as you bought giraffes made out of leopard skin ....

JolietJake dijo...

fell off your bike boyo? that's a fucking beauty.

Admit I felt a tiny tinge of concern but then zoe said she saw you wobbling to the bar so you must alright you knob.

haaahaar, ha ha ah ah, raahaaah

SpanishGoth dijo...

For someone who wears a dress when fully togged, you can be really bitchy.


japanesewhispers dijo...

I love reading your stories you always have me pissing myself!

SpanishGoth dijo...

Japanese -> Glad you like them but this one did fucking hurt - scars are still not healed one week on