miércoles, julio 25, 2007

Invasion Of The.....

Well, I haven't actually decided yet. I know it's not Invasion of the Body Snatchers as that's just plain stupid - for a start, they didn't snatch the bodies, they just kind of used them as hosts. Invasion of the Personality Invaders would be a little bit more accurate but hardly likely to cause world-wide panic.

Invasion of The Giant Badgers from Saturn would be more frightening but slightly obvious and as badgers don't have opposable thumbs, they would be unable to use guns or grenades so it would be a very short invasion. It fact, it would be little more than a day trip really. Although, I don't actually think badgers take day trips as they don't have picnic hampers.

Therefore, I believe it's just plain aliens that are taking over planet Earth. I have come to this conclusion because I have noticed sporadic outbreaks of previously sane and logical people coming to absolutely ludicrous conclusions. Some of these outbreaks have occurred in a surreptitious manner and there can therefore only be one explanation -


I'm not the first to have postulated on this hypothesis - numerous authors have written books, films have been made, a typical example being Men in Black. In this film, the theory was that extra terrestrials had already been assimilated into the human population (which I concur with).

For example:-

Michael Jackson - I'm black, I'm white, oh shit I've forgotten which colour I'm supposed to be.

George Bush - Enough said really.

Margaret Thatcher - 'What'd do you mean you gave me a womans body?' *laser blast*

Gary Oldman - (The shape shifter) "He was NOT in that film" *titles roll* "Aw fuck, he was".

Jesus Christ - 'My dad is God and you can't kill me - I will live forever Bwahahahahahah'.

Tiger Woods - *Transmit to Tiger* Start playing crap, you're standing out too much *end transmit*

Joan Rivers - 'This skin doesn't fit, staple it at the back again will you?'.

I'm sure there are quite a few others I forgot.....????

15 comentarios:

Princess of the Universe dijo...

I don't have any other suggestions to make...well maybe Farrah Fawcett. Have you seen her lately? Her face looks wonky.

However I DO love love love Gary Oldman, and would cheerfully let him take me back to the home planet anytime.

Ani dijo...

I do have fantasies about alien invasions but they certainly don't look like Margaret Thatcher.

Gary Oldman, however? Now you're talking.

john.g. dijo...

Spike Milligan said: "I told you I was ill."

Mr Farty dijo...

M & M - "Whaddaya mean, you made me white?"

SpanishGoth dijo...

Princess -> But she was married to the 6 million dollar man - no wonder she's wonky

Ani -> Maggie in a wheelchair = Daleks "You will be exterminated"

JG -> Milligan was class !!!

Mr F -> It's the M&M club

PI dijo...

At least two men really fancied Maggie - apart from Dennis.

Drama Queen dijo...

Tiger Woods. Very good.

And I like Mr Farty's suggestion!

So what about Paris 'they kept the alien face and gave me a blending in with the crowd kinda hair do' Hilton?

JolietJake dijo...

well what about "the day trip of the giant badgers from saturn" or, if it has to be badgers, the Invasion of Norman Lamont. ok, no-one wants to invade Norman Lamont.

I've seen that film a gazumpteen times but I still don't know what Gary Oldman looks like.

Assume that Tiger transmit went out just before The Open, nice one.

JolietJake dijo...

bit of useless MINORITY info for yer; that sitemeter thingy doesn't render on a MAC

SpanishGoth dijo...

Pat -> Dennis loved her, but he was permanently pissed..... hmm message there perhaps

DQ -> Real person - DUH, stop fantasising about blondes

JJ -> cool, paki in a mac-y doesn't worky - stoopid funky munkey thing

Drama Queen dijo...

Totally no way a real person. And the dog she carries round with her controls her quest for world domination. FACT!

Anónimo dijo...

Pete whatever his name is - the one that was in Big Brother. I could stare at him for hours.

SpanishGoth dijo...

DQ -> Hooray, you're alive... not that I thought you were dead or anything I just thought you were busy Billking (kind of like bonking, but different)

Ano-domini -> Pete? That's sweet but, your Big Brother ? Eek

The Aunt dijo...

I know what you mean about Oldman.

I didn't know what Robert de Niro really looked like until I saw footage of him attending an award ceremony.

SpanishGoth dijo...

Aunty -> But De Niro is God - Oldman is just - the only Dracula one feels sorry for