Now, bizarrely enough, I have met the little scoundrel although, fortunately enough, not his twiglet of a wife. Unless she was hiding in a bowl of pretzels before she decided Old Trafford wasn't big enough for her ego.
He was genuinely nice and at that time, a bloody good football player. Even mini-Goth had the pleasure to see him play.
Then, the media took over - again. Becks to start for LA Galaxy, maybe, Posh goes shopping in Beverly Hills - oh, and in other news, 300 people died in Iraq.
Therefore, I have decided to dedicate this Friday the 13th, to stupid women in the news (ie, there for no fucking reason) - bearing in mind that tomorrow I will be focussing on an important woman as it's her birthday.
Posh Spice - I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want - it's for you to shut the fuck up, eat some food and learn Spanish you docile stick insect.
Paris Hilton - don't even know where to start with this lame-arse excuse for a person. Coming out of jail, she said "I want to help other people" - yeah, right, nothing to do with getting rogered with a carrot in the exclusive section whilst in prison then - but let's have a million dollar party later whilst people die in Africa.
Britney Spears - ok, starts with the Disney club - wearing Mickey Mouse ears - moving to "I'll be shaving my head" for no good reason. I hate to say that Justin Timberlake is intelligent, but getting the fuck away from Britney seems clever enough to me.
Madonna - 'Get into the Groove...' - no, get into the crosshairs bitch and stop wriggling about, it makes you harder to hit. Fucking about, shaking your tits and pretending to shoot foxes and stuff. Give the foxes guns and then let's see how bloody clever you are.
Oprah Winfrey - handing out advice to women on how to lose weight, whilst scoffing the weight of Senegal in chocolate. "This week, I'll be fat" and then getting thin in 2 weeks, thanks to surgery that no-one else can afford. Look, fat, thin, fat, thin etc.
Pamela Anderson - yes, she'll be the talentless bitch with inflatable tits most famous for Baywatch and giving blowjobs that were broadcast on the Internet. If you didn't want the shit broadcast, why film yourself doing it? DUH
So, who else should be on the list?
*Update - July 14th* - the list below have been added to the Whores Of Shame but you'll have to bugger off and read the comments to see the reasons
Heather Mills, Royal Ségolène, Jade Goody, 'Doctor' Gillian McKeith, Nicole Ritchie, Danielle Lloyd, Anna Nicole Smith, Bush twins - Jenna and Not-Jenna, Naomi Campbell, Tara Palmer Tomkinson, Jackie Collins, Jackie Stallone, Katie Price, Tamara Beckwith
(ps I admire lots of women, just not these useless waste of human resources)