viernes, julio 13, 2007

Fuck It Like Beckham

Now, bizarrely enough, I have met the little scoundrel although, fortunately enough, not his twiglet of a wife. Unless she was hiding in a bowl of pretzels before she decided Old Trafford wasn't big enough for her ego.

He was genuinely nice and at that time, a bloody good football player. Even mini-Goth had the pleasure to see him play.

Then, the media took over - again. Becks to start for LA Galaxy, maybe, Posh goes shopping in Beverly Hills - oh, and in other news, 300 people died in Iraq.

Therefore, I have decided to dedicate this Friday the 13th, to stupid women in the news (ie, there for no fucking reason) - bearing in mind that tomorrow I will be focussing on an important woman as it's her birthday.

Posh Spice - I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want - it's for you to shut the fuck up, eat some food and learn Spanish you docile stick insect.

Paris Hilton - don't even know where to start with this lame-arse excuse for a person. Coming out of jail, she said "I want to help other people" - yeah, right, nothing to do with getting rogered with a carrot in the exclusive section whilst in prison then - but let's have a million dollar party later whilst people die in Africa.

Britney Spears - ok, starts with the Disney club - wearing Mickey Mouse ears - moving to "I'll be shaving my head" for no good reason. I hate to say that Justin Timberlake is intelligent, but getting the fuck away from Britney seems clever enough to me.

Madonna - 'Get into the Groove...' - no, get into the crosshairs bitch and stop wriggling about, it makes you harder to hit. Fucking about, shaking your tits and pretending to shoot foxes and stuff. Give the foxes guns and then let's see how bloody clever you are.

Oprah Winfrey - handing out advice to women on how to lose weight, whilst scoffing the weight of Senegal in chocolate. "This week, I'll be fat" and then getting thin in 2 weeks, thanks to surgery that no-one else can afford. Look, fat, thin, fat, thin etc.

Pamela Anderson - yes, she'll be the talentless bitch with inflatable tits most famous for Baywatch and giving blowjobs that were broadcast on the Internet. If you didn't want the shit broadcast, why film yourself doing it? DUH

So, who else should be on the list?

*Update - July 14th* - the list below have been added to the Whores Of Shame but you'll have to bugger off and read the comments to see the reasons

Heather Mills, Royal Ségolène, Jade Goody, 'Doctor' Gillian McKeith, Nicole Ritchie, Danielle Lloyd, Anna Nicole Smith, Bush twins - Jenna and Not-Jenna, Naomi Campbell, Tara Palmer Tomkinson, Jackie Collins, Jackie Stallone, Katie Price, Tamara Beckwith

(ps I admire lots of women, just not these useless waste of human resources)

36 comentarios:

jungle jane dijo...

'ssup goth,

M' forgot that Heather Mills bird, that skinny Richie chick, Bill Clinton's lesbian wife and Tom Cruise's simpering girlfriend.

Oh and that couple that go around impersonating David and Vicki Beckham for a living? The lookalikes? Can they go on the list too?

Thank you. I am done hating now.

Cream dijo...

Posh needs to learn South American Spanish fast now that they're moving to LA...

Dip-Dop-Crabtree dijo...

All the women are beautiful as soon as the sun not at all its indiscreet rays through light dresses and vaporeuses, Brief !

Some are crossed party some leaves !?!? example:

* Married noëlle Lienemann; (Delegated Socialist European) "My husband was so far unemployed, but I am changing husband"
* Roselyne bachelot-narquin; (Minister of Health, Youth and Sports) "half the ozone cloud that holds sway in the Parisian region is English and German importation" (my préfférée!!)
* Royal Ségolène; (former, future? candidate to the French presidency) "Even when I say nothing, that does noise" or "That comes on the big wall, conquers the (bravitude ??)" and "The gazelles run more quickly than the elephants" (deep refflection on the elephants on the part socialist)

It there in to others!! and I have names!!

¡Que la felicidad!
¿Si yo avai un digno blog de este nombre?? ¡me estallaré!!

Daphne Wayne-Bough dijo...

Funnily enough I was sitting at the next table to Mr Madge last Sunday night in a pub in London. Add Jade Goody to your list please.

Gorilla Bananas dijo...

La Cicciolina is the kind of human female I admire. Pamela Anderson shouldn't be on the list, her perfect bum makes up for her ridiculous breasts.

Drama Queen dijo...

Was going to say H Mills but JJ beat me to it. I guess you can add Jade Goody. . .Oh I see Daffers got there first. See, women always hate the same ones.

Teeny dijo...

Oh oh, 'Doctor' Gillian McKeith! I hate that bitch.

Are you going to put up a list of the women you do admire?! I'd be interested...

Stacie dijo...

Nicole waste of a human skin!

Of the six women you named, the only one I disagree with is Oprah. At least she does some good with her money and is socially responsible most of the time. As an overweight woman myself, I can't hold her weight struggles against her, but she does do a lot of good with her money. The others though...I agree wholeheartedly, with the addition of Nicole Richie, and you know, I've never been a fan of Katie Holmes either...she needs a backbone.

Misssy M dijo...

Oh good, I'm the first to mention Colleen McLaughlin!

Still, she does deserve something for having to wake up next to Alfred E Newman's uglier little brother every day, I suppose.

And as for that Danielle Lloyd- that nasty little bee-aatch gets a career out of being one of the CBB witches coven whilst the other two get ostracised? Why, cos she's a Daily Star Stunna and gets them out for the lads.

Vitriol successfully spilt. Thank you!

SpanishGoth dijo...

JJ -> It wasn't an exhaustive list but you're quite right. The one legged gold digger is on the list

Cream -> Nah - she'll probably import maids - I don't even think she speaks Spanish anyway

Dip-Dop -> Names - I need more names but Ségolène can go on it as she seems perfectly mental

Daphne -> Absolutely Gobby Goody is on the list

GB -> I know you have a fetish about the blonde bimbo but she stays on the list for her 'parenting' skills

DQ -> Come on girl, I'm sure there are others you can think of

Teeny -> The bogus doctor - yep, added

Stacie -> I'm sure Oprah does good things but I still worry about HOW she deals with the weight issue. Nicole Ritchie can be added though - anyone with Michael Jackson as a godparent is bound to be fucked up

SpanishGoth dijo...

Missy -> hmmm, debating the Colleen one as I don't want to upset Son of Shrek before the new season starts. Danielle Lloyd however does make it on for being a pointless racist also

Drama Queen dijo...

Which email address do I use for you. . .?

Hotmail, gmail, work. . .

I tried the work one. It failed. Now sent to hotmail one.

SpanishGoth dijo...

Hotmail - am replying now

Princess of the Universe dijo...

I know that she's passed on and all, so I should show some respect, but I personally could never understand the obsession with Anna Nicole Smith...

Sewmouse dijo...

How about the Bush twins - Jenna and Not-Jenna?

Those two should have been negated the day their GRANDFATHER had a bad idea in the back of his chevy.

SpanishGoth dijo...

Princess -> yeah - Anna Knickerless Smith gets on the list

Sewmouse -> indeed, anyone with a surname like Bush needs to be shot

Dip-Dop-Crabtree dijo...

Suite aléatoire ;

If one asks average Frenchman "which is the French capital of the umbrella", there are chances so that it answers Cherbourg.

Catherine Deneuve: (The men charmers make charm with everyone, even with a door!); ??

Ophélie Winter: police custody for traffic of cocaine and cannabis...!!

Naomi Campbell: detoxication yes but not of the fur!

Michael Jackson: proposed with Prince of L ’ to accompany for a round in duet ?? Oups! what of the girls ??

Eva Longoria: The marriage of Eva makes the task difficult to everyone. It changed the flowers three times, and even its dress was modified several times. And there is also the list of the guests, qu ’ it N ’ does not stop making revise, a beautiful bloody nuisance!

The Ruby news: its last album (Mechit Waraa Ihssassi) N ’ did not fly high!

The Lebanese singer Elissa: gave two consecutive concerts, with exactly the same dress that it is not well!

Sophia Loren: who, at 72 years, agreed to pose naked...a blow to make me chutter my libido!!

SpanishGoth dijo...

Dip-Dop -> you can have Naomi Campbell but not Sophia Loren. Naomi is a pretentious bitch with no common sense but Sophia? No, just because she posed naked at 72 ? Good for her - if she can get away with it

Dip-Dop-Crabtree dijo...

OK! not Sophia, Surtout that it was my phantasm being young, with gina!

Go, for the pleasure of the eyes



Brom dijo...

Add Tara Palmer Tomkinson to the list. I just cannot see the point of that woman!

Brom dijo...
Este comentario ha sido eliminado por el autor.
Brom dijo...

Deleted coz I pushed the button twice! I hate repeating myself

Brom dijo...

I said I hate repeating myself!

SpanishGoth dijo...

Dip-Dop -> I would agree with the pleasure of the eyes

Brom -> I had thought about Tara Twit Tomkinson - she can be on the list

Surprised no-one has mentioned Jackie Collins yet - fucking freak

phoenix dijo...

Bit late I know but can I please please please add Jackie Stallone to the list! That woman scares the living daylights out of me just looking at her surgery torn face.Grow old gracefully you stoopid woman

SpanishGoth dijo...

Phoenix -> That's a definite, I'd forgotten about that haggard old witch - hope I don't have nightmares tomight now...

gddik dijo...

No Katie Price / Jordan?

The way that woman and her tedious loser of a boyfriend, Peter Andre, whore themselves and their offspring around sickens me to the core.

Or it would do, if I could give a toss.

Tamara Beckwith ranks alongside the Paris Hiltons and TPTs, too. Utter wastes of space.

The spoilt little brat here: deserves a good spanking, too.

SpanishGoth dijo...

GDDIK -> Good choice - both of them can join the Whore of Shame List

Ashlee dijo...

I agree with you wholeheartedly. These people do nothing of interest.

Cool blog by the way.

SpanishGoth dijo...

Ashlee -> Welcome. Unfortunately, they do use up oxygen and stuff - but I have an answer. Tx for the comment though :)

Betty dijo...

Gwyneth Paltrow and Nicole Kidman for doing stuff like wearing a head to toe bacofoil suit on the beach so they won't get harmed by the sun's harmful rays ... and they make stuffy announcements where we are told "I am stepping away from my career for two years because I have my work as a mother to do".

Natasha Bedingfield - horse faced, over enthusiastic, jolly hockey sticks pop star ...

That's enough for now.

SpanishGoth dijo...

Betty - Hola -> Gwyneth Paltrow yes - simpering wench, Nicole Kidman... not so sure, she did get rid of Tom Cruise after all. Bedingfield, yes - jolly shitty sticks and all

gddik dijo...

Late, late entry, but can I please add Kerry Katona / McFadden to the list?

I really don't understand how such a nonentity can make a career out of their very nonentityness.

Please get her and her like out my face.

SpanishGoth dijo...

It's only her big tits that were getting in your face... but ok, she makes the list

Atomic THIS

Edvard Moonke dijo...

'no, get into the crosshairs'... love it.

the one I find truly hard to stomach for no good reason, if you don't count the fact that she's a smug and self-satisfied bitch, is edith bow(el)man. is it just me?

SpanishGoth dijo...

Edvard -> wouldn't know dude as I haven't lived in the yUK for 10 years - had to Wiki the witch. However, I'm willing to allow it as you're pregnant ;-)