Lord of the Squares

It's kind of like Lord of the Rings but different in so far as it doesn't involve Elves, hobbits or trees that talk - ooh, and it has nothing to do with rings really.

Goth has a penchant for being awkward - well, damn right bloody stubborn if the truth is told. If the fashion is to have short hair, tough shit - Goth will be having long hair then. The fact that Goth can grow hair is just a testimony to the raging hormones, bubbling like a cauldron beneath the surface. Although, it could also be that Goth can't be arsed to go to a hairdresser.

Goth doesn't like 'popular' music. Who said it was popular? The mother fuckers who wanted to sell the shit, that's who. Music is an expressive art form that transcends boundaries, cultures and other clever stuff. Kylie Minogue fucking about and shaking her arse is not music. When was the last time you saw her play a musical instrument? - exactly!!! Never.

Goth likes to, and knows how to read - and not the pulp fiction that is tossed at him by some wanker who wants to get rid of shit books. Reading is good for the soul and expands the mind - it's also very handy when you're stuck in shitty places like airports, or planes or generally don't want to talk to the person next to you as they are full of shit.

Goth likes art and museums. Not because they're full of 3 million year old dinosaur bones but because they allow one to learn and become erudite (ha, bet you have to go and look that fucker up). Seriously, one can learn an awful lot from venturing into these crusty places inhabited by middle-aged women with no lives - well, they had to get the security from somewhere.

Goth hates marriage. Some pontificating twat decides that they have the divine ability to screw with 2 peoples lives. Boll-fucking-ucks. If you love someone, that should be good enough and if not, find someone else. Marriage is just the states way of defining what you can or can't do. But hey, you get tax breaks if you get married. DOH. I get tea breaks if I work (and it's cheaper).

Goth doesn't do mornings. Not that Goth doesn't like mornings - It's a fine time to go to bed. It's not that Goth can't get up, Goth doesn't want to. Goth likes the darkness - a good thing as people can't see how ugly he can be.

Generally, in the darkness, all the muppets have fucked off to try and get laid in discos or train stations and thus the conversation goes beyond "Whoa, look at the tits on her - I bet she goes" ... Goes where? Is she a taxi driver?

Anyway, mornings are full of boring things like breakfast and coffee and orange juice. Oh, and beer tastes shit in the morning.

So, Goth has decided to become Lord of the Squares - this entails, not being Lord of the Rings, at all, ever. Go and take your sad-arse somewhere else.

What else should Goth condemn???