sábado, julio 07, 2007

Lord of the Squares

It's kind of like Lord of the Rings but different in so far as it doesn't involve Elves, hobbits or trees that talk - ooh, and it has nothing to do with rings really.

Goth has a penchant for being awkward - well, damn right bloody stubborn if the truth is told. If the fashion is to have short hair, tough shit - Goth will be having long hair then. The fact that Goth can grow hair is just a testimony to the raging hormones, bubbling like a cauldron beneath the surface. Although, it could also be that Goth can't be arsed to go to a hairdresser.

Goth doesn't like 'popular' music. Who said it was popular? The mother fuckers who wanted to sell the shit, that's who. Music is an expressive art form that transcends boundaries, cultures and other clever stuff. Kylie Minogue fucking about and shaking her arse is not music. When was the last time you saw her play a musical instrument? - exactly!!! Never.

Goth likes to, and knows how to read - and not the pulp fiction that is tossed at him by some wanker who wants to get rid of shit books. Reading is good for the soul and expands the mind - it's also very handy when you're stuck in shitty places like airports, or planes or generally don't want to talk to the person next to you as they are full of shit.

Goth likes art and museums. Not because they're full of 3 million year old dinosaur bones but because they allow one to learn and become erudite (ha, bet you have to go and look that fucker up). Seriously, one can learn an awful lot from venturing into these crusty places inhabited by middle-aged women with no lives - well, they had to get the security from somewhere.

Goth hates marriage. Some pontificating twat decides that they have the divine ability to screw with 2 peoples lives. Boll-fucking-ucks. If you love someone, that should be good enough and if not, find someone else. Marriage is just the states way of defining what you can or can't do. But hey, you get tax breaks if you get married. DOH. I get tea breaks if I work (and it's cheaper).

Goth doesn't do mornings. Not that Goth doesn't like mornings - It's a fine time to go to bed. It's not that Goth can't get up, Goth doesn't want to. Goth likes the darkness - a good thing as people can't see how ugly he can be.

Generally, in the darkness, all the muppets have fucked off to try and get laid in discos or train stations and thus the conversation goes beyond "Whoa, look at the tits on her - I bet she goes" ... Goes where? Is she a taxi driver?

Anyway, mornings are full of boring things like breakfast and coffee and orange juice. Oh, and beer tastes shit in the morning.

So, Goth has decided to become Lord of the Squares - this entails, not being Lord of the Rings, at all, ever. Go and take your sad-arse somewhere else.

What else should Goth condemn???

16 comentarios:

Princess of the Universe dijo...

Pizza and chocolate taste pretty good in the morning.

I gotta say, the biggest highlight of my sole trip to Europe was the British Museum...I could have spent weeks there just staring at the mummies...

Brom dijo...

You are right, beer does have this abiliy to taste foul before about 10.30.

Same goes for beef. I had a lifelong ambition to have steak and eggs for breakfast. What a disappointment. I now know why bacon is so popular.

SpanishGoth dijo...

Princess -> Pizza and chocolate? Doesn't the chocolate melt?

Brom -> I know I'm right. You should try beer right after toothpaste - now there's a recipe for puke

zoe dijo...

goth should condemn lousy english teachers who aren't english, can hardly speak the language, but yet is put in charge of a class of french-speaking kids to teach them how to speak english.

teachers teaching a foreign language should be from the country itself.

SpanishGoth dijo...

Zed -> All teachers who can't teach should hold their hands up and fucking admit so. Which dismisses 98% of them - then Goth might have gone to school

Princess Banter dijo...

Princess agrees with many things that Goth has said... especially the mornings bit. Mornings should be abolished, I think, for the sanity of the universe. Monday mornings, to be specific...

Cream dijo...

I ticked all the boxes so I must be square.
Back home I "learnt" English from a succession of teachers: a French priest, an American actress, a Pakistani sales rep, an American hippy, etc...
It took me a couple of years to make myself understood when I first came over here.

SpanishGoth dijo...

Princess -> like the Boomtown Rats - I Don't Like Mondays

Cream -> I'd love to hear you swear - 'Get offa my cloud Mother Cooker' (with a Pakistani accent I hope)

Stacie dijo...

Girls in dresses! I think the rule that girls must wear dresses at weddings should be abolished.
FOREVER.
Thank you.
Stacie

oh..and moving. Moving should definitely be condemned. Unless the person wants to move.

Oh!! I know I know! Power of attorney. Women should be able to take care of any and all business in the absense of her spouse WITHOUT his written consent!! Yeah..if you have to only pic one, pick this one, I can suck it up and wear a damn dress...

SpanishGoth dijo...

Wow, you suck and wear a dress? is that like a party trick?

Anyway, I think weddings are abolished - stupid fucking idea anyway

Mary P Jones (MPJ) dijo...

I would condemn socks, but I am a hippie chick, not a Goth.

SpanishGoth dijo...

Mary -> Hippies don't do socks, they do sandals and loose fitting clothing because they hate their bodies - ooh, and lentils too

Mr. X dijo...

Couldn't agree more, especially about the teachers.

And the twats that drop litter, the filthy gits.

SpanishGoth dijo...

Ah, but on the continent, we have bins with 3 holes. How fucking tempting is that??

bananas62 dijo...

Mornings dont thrill me either, but I have to do what I have to do...

"a good thing as people can't see how ugly he can be."

Sorry Goth, I see nothing ugly in you! If you had to "get" ugly, I don't think it wouldn't be without good reason! Especially where the mini-goths are concerned!

SpanishGoth dijo...

Bananas -> When I say ugly, I mean in a bad hair day way...