Two days, two different dinner parties. I know, I shouldn't be complaining - I got invited to the bastard things, but....
Goth doesn't mind pitching up at these events, bottle of wine in hand etc, eating strange food and talking to people he's never met before, for no reason but, my fingers hurt now.
Why? Because if there is a guitar there - guess what happens? No, I don't try and eat the guitar instead of the food - I end up playing it. I don't mind that but, some of the requests are, simplistically, fucking weird. That will be the point where I say "No, but I do know this funky little Metallica number".
As the smoke settles, I can look back and marvel at what has transpired.
Dinner Party number 1 (in Portuguese). "Excuse me but the gas is still on and it's starting to get dangerous in here" - "Oh you're so funny" - "No, the fucking gas is on and it's not cooking anything". Cue, frantic window opening and lots of nervous cigarette lighting.
Conversations about Brasil abound. Music is played on the stereo - except that, the CD keeps jumping. Easy enough to fix - twat the stereo. I'm not sure quite how 'twatting' a stereo is going to make a CD jump less, but it is rather amusing to watch.
"Wine anyone?" - ok, but I'm not drinking that shite - it's off. Thus Goth has to go out and buy some more, well, L paid for it but Goth chose it. Sort of.
Dinner Party number 2 (in Spanish) - sort of. Food on plates - it kind of helps, I think, and mucho vino. And then..... the singing begins, again.
"Do you know Stairway to Heaven?" - oh, for fucks sake.
"No, do that funky 'More Than 'something' ' song".
"No, no.... I want to hear..."
"Do you know..."
But then...... something happened that wasn't supposed to - real talent took centre stage. Whilst Goth was pissing about with a blues riff, the singing started. Except it wasn't just singing - it was 'improv' at it's best.
FUCK ME - this fucking rocks!!!
"Coffee anyone?" announces the stewardess, and it's back to reality, with a very unceremonious bump.
Stiff Little Fingers ? - they bloody are now