When I visit my local hostelry, I invariably sit on the same stool at the end of the bar. There are a number of reasons for this, mainly that I can lean on the counter and do my crossword, or read a book or talk to the bar staff - all of whom I know.
This means that I have my back to the majority of the pub but that's ok. Occassionally I will wear the T-shirt that I scammed out of the manager, exactly the same as the bar staff wear - emblazoned with the pub name etc. On a regular basis, a very similar conversation occurs.
*Some Eurotwit having waited to be served marches over and proceeds to talk to my back*
"Excuse me, is there any chance of being served at all today?"
to which I reply, without turning around "Don't know, have you tried asking like polite people do?"
"I don't care for your attitude young man"
me turning around "Well yours fucking sucks pal"
"Right I want to complain to the manager, right now !!"
"Your choice fuckwit, but you might want to complain about someone who actually works here before you make an even bigger twat of yourself"
"Oh, you're a customer?"
"That's why I'm drinking beer - oh and the fact that I asked politely for it"
*Turns back around thinking - Cheeky Bastards*