martes, julio 31, 2007

Cheeky Bastards

When I visit my local hostelry, I invariably sit on the same stool at the end of the bar. There are a number of reasons for this, mainly that I can lean on the counter and do my crossword, or read a book or talk to the bar staff - all of whom I know.

This means that I have my back to the majority of the pub but that's ok. Occassionally I will wear the T-shirt that I scammed out of the manager, exactly the same as the bar staff wear - emblazoned with the pub name etc. On a regular basis, a very similar conversation occurs.

*Some Eurotwit having waited to be served marches over and proceeds to talk to my back*

"Excuse me, is there any chance of being served at all today?"

to which I reply, without turning around "Don't know, have you tried asking like polite people do?"

"I don't care for your attitude young man"

me turning around "Well yours fucking sucks pal"

"Right I want to complain to the manager, right now !!"

"Your choice fuckwit, but you might want to complain about someone who actually works here before you make an even bigger twat of yourself"

"Oh, you're a customer?"

"That's why I'm drinking beer - oh and the fact that I asked politely for it"

*Turns back around thinking - Cheeky Bastards*

26 comentarios:

john.g. dijo...

Class, Goth, class!!

Drama Queen dijo...

I was once in PRIMARK when someone asked for something in their size. I told them I couldn't help them as I didn't work there. To which the woman replied 'oh you look like someone who works here'. Nice, very nice.

john.g. dijo...


Stacie dijo...

Oh you are SO my new hero today!
That, was awsome!
I can't stand people who behave so rudely, I just rarely ever have the balls to tell them so.

Daphne Wayne-Bough dijo...

That's telling 'em, Goth. Do you ever get blokes sneaking up behind you and saying "What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?"

SpanishGoth dijo...

JG -> Thankyou

DQ -> Are you going jazz on me?

Stacie -> When we meet, you will see the Goth Meister in action

Daphne -> Sometimes, but I assumed it was because I have a cute arse, not because of my hair. Do you ever encounter that problem?

zoe dijo...

it's the 'young man' that gets me. who on earth would think that you're "young" ?

well, other than myself, that is ....

SpanishGoth dijo...

Zed -> That would be the 'childish' side then as opposed to the 'blogger' side of me

Brom dijo...

I have one of those dangly pass things round my neck at work. Lunchtimes can be fun at large shops.

"Do you know where the drills are?"


and then I walk off.

Anónimo dijo...

If I were you, I would take advantage of the mistake, take the drink of the person next to you, give it to the customer and charge over the odds.

Make sure you get a share of the tips.


Drama Queen dijo...

I swear its true. Cheeky fecker eh?!!

And yes John *splutter* indeed.

You Sick Bastard! dijo...

I guess they had to take away your employee of the month parking space.

The Aunt dijo...

DQ - I get that ALL the time. And in supermarkets, as well.

It's time for a change of wardrobe, methinks.

gddik dijo...

It's the arseholes that give you a look as though you've just assaulted them, or even worse, ignore you altogether, when you've just opened a door for them and waited to allow them to pass through that piss me off.

I generally just say, in a loud voice, "YOU'RE WELCOME!". Usually makes the buggers jump.

Aaron Proctor dijo...

Excellent blog!

Adding you to my blog roll.

Mr Farty dijo...

Now I soooo want to get a McDonalds staff-type shirt, so that I can act all surly to the customers...but would anyone be able to tell the difference?

SpanishGoth dijo...

Brom -> that'll be Carrefour then? bloody crossroads

Ano -> would never 'steal' anyone's drink - it's called 'Mine-sweeping'

DQ -> you tinkerbell

YSB -> didn't have a car - 'cos it's bad for the enviroment... Got a fucking truck instead

Aunty -> Dr Who was cool in a tardis, Aunty in a wardrobe?

GD -> Wait for the revolving doors and just keep putting your foot in the way..

AP -> Thanks and welcome

Mr F -> it's a zit-count thing

Tippler dijo...

Not to Daphne: Yes, he does.

I bet YOU don't, though... :-)

Tippler dijo...

Er, 'note'

Peach dijo...

Excellent ! I have a gorgeous insult I am just WAITING for the chance to use when I work the bar, particularly as certain people sit there pontificating on so much SHIT it just winds me up to the point of nausea, and it is:

Why don't you just shut the fuck up so people will just hate you for the way you look*

*stolen from Mrs R (Woman Of Experience)

PI dijo...

I was once accosted by a customer in Jaegar and tole her I was a customer myself. She was american ans said
'You just look so together.'

Daphne Wayne-Bough dijo...

You're right Tipps, it doesn't. Not because I am not a nice girl, but because I don't hang around in bars.

SpanishGoth dijo...

Tippler -> I second your doofer

Peach -> Can you come and insult me? please

Pat -> Should have kicked her in the fanny

Daphne -> Do too - I've seen you in said wtaering holes

SpanishGoth dijo...

WTF is a "wtaering hole" - fucking pissed twat

JolietJake dijo...

I was mistaken for a doctor in a hospital. Well, it was a psychiatric ward, and another one of the patients thought i was her son. Wasnt funny really, scary.

SpanishGoth dijo...

JJ -> But you SO belong in the psych ward - did you take your toy stethoscope too?