sábado, julio 21, 2007

Harry Potter is Dead

Or not, as the case may be. I really don't care. So what if the caped one got 'wizarred' beneath his cape ?! I'm not sure what the fixation is with this bloody character - HE'S NOT FUCKING REAL. Do you get it Potterites, or Potterbots, or Potatoes, or whatever you call yourselves in your sad moments alone.

Pick a real hero, not some fictional character from an over-hyped book:-

Santa - see, now there's a dude that is real and he's cool. He flies around the world in one night distributing presents and not getting pissed on Sherry. Then he goes on holiday for the other 364 (or 365 days). And he's got Reindeer too..... ROCK !!

Jesus Christ - now, obviously I am not a religious person but, anyone who comes up with the theory of chocolate eggs, whilst getting nailed to a tree has got to be cool. He also had a funky hairdo.

Marilyn Manson - about as much musical talent as a satanic smurf - but look how he worked the press. Who'd have thought you could make so much money being christened Brian? Oh, and by wearing tights, and stupid contact lenses - and giving blow jobs to guys, when you're not a woman - ewwwwww.

Clint Eastwood - when does he die? Never. Because death is afraid of him. "Go and collect Eastwood" - "You have got to be shitting me - he's got a 44 Magnum and could blow my head - clean off"

Albert Einstein - anyone that can invent nuclear weapons and then grow a silly moustache to try and hide behind, like it's a big hedge, needs help. However, his Theory of Relativity made a lot more sense than Sigmund Freuds.

And finally, GOD

Jimi Hendrix - Don't know where to even start here. If you know what a guitar is and do not know Hendrix - I pity you. He didn't even make it to 30 before he died.

He didn't have to fuck about with a wand or ride on broomsticks to be big and clever. He admitted himself, he couldn't sing for shit - but, show me someone else who could set fire to a guitar and still play a tune and I'll show you a charred cadaver.

I probably missed someone.... maybe... perhaps...

Suggestions, when you've finished 'reading' the book of Harry Pothead (TM Zoe)???

22 comentarios:

john.g. dijo...

Jimmy Page?
Eric Clapton?

My ALL time favourite though is Lee Trevino, the golfer.
When asked what he did on a golf course when lightning was around.
"I take out a 1 iron, not even God can hit a 1 iron!

Brom dijo...

Wotcha.

Uh! I dunno why I said that, coz it's a word I seldom use.. Just catching up on the news in Gothland after a few days away chopping off the heads of tulips with a windmill.

Some woman was wittering on a phone-in yesterday bad mouthing HP due to all the killings... erm, you get more zapped in an episode of Dr. Who, and that happens every seven days.

Oh, yes - Stevie Ray Vaughan.

SpanishGoth dijo...

JG -> Page... yes, Clapton - absolutely fucking not - robbing shit from Robert Johnson indeed

Brom -> I think the drugs in Holland fried your brain dude. As for killing, bombs or guns don't kill people, people kill people (except when they're tigers, or elephants shitting on your head, or sharks, or rays, or spiders - fucking spiders)

zoe dijo...

harry pothead must go. done deal.

santa. grow up.

JC. now he was just stupid - AND i saw christmas trees and easter chicks in our local match the other day.

mm. smart guy - not entirely sure about all of his music though.

oh dear, the rest ... oh dear indeed.

Gorilla Bananas dijo...

I believe that J K Rowling is attracted to men like you, Goth. If she'd only had you as a lover, boy would she be writing great stories instead of this Potty Harry nonsense.

Babs dijo...

I'm pleased to see Santa made the cut.

Could you let him know I'm still waiting for my E-Z bake oven?? It's been bloody well over 23 years now. Tsk.

SpanishGoth dijo...

Zed -> I made the correction - I fumble at your shed of correction

GB -> Astounding compliments indeed - have they allowed Wodka into the Congo??

Babs -> (previously a 'lurker' I assume) - go for the Slow-Cooker, far harder to get and you have to be really, really good to get one

bananas62 dijo...

I'm surprised Jack Daniels didn't make the cut!!! Now there's my hero!!!
*smiles as she thinks about a shot*

SpanishGoth dijo...

Bananas -> Well, I know Jack personally and you don't want to be ragging friends

SpanishGoth dijo...

and ZOE - ZED or whatever, how the fuck can you say anything bad about Hendrtix ??!!

Muppet

SpanishGoth dijo...

and ZOE - ZED or whatever you're calling yourself this week, how the fuck can you say anything bad about Hendrix ??!!

Muppet

zoe dijo...

i'm not too keen about hendrix - "all around the watch tower" was ok - but too much twangy guitar for my liking.

and it'll be zed today.

SpanishGoth dijo...

Zed -> "twangy" guitar? you fucking phillistine

zoe dijo...

listen, mate, not everybody likes the same kind of music, so if i call it 'twangy guitar', then that's what it is to my ears.

i'm zoe for now.

SpanishGoth dijo...

mmmm - they'll be big ears then.

Where's Noddy?

Princess of the Universe dijo...

Goth- you've hurt my little princess feelings. You know how I feel about Harry. :)

SpanishGoth dijo...

Princess -> No, I don't know how you feel about Harry. Was he related or something???

Princess of the Universe dijo...

Nope, but that would be handy. Do a couple of glamour spells on me to make me even more adorable.

SpanishGoth dijo...

Can I just do a spell-like thing on your chest of beauty???

Stacie dijo...

Please don't hate me, but I really have a thing for Marilyn Manson. I've always had a fascination of sorts, but never listened to his music, but this last year or so, I listen on a daily basis and every time I hear his voice...

Oh...I can't talk about it anymore. It's making me hot..

Please dont' hate me, I trusted you enough with this information not to hold it against me, and it it helps, I think you rock much more than MM..
;)
Stacie

SpanishGoth dijo...

Stacie -> I actually have all MM's stuff - started way back with Smells Like Children.....

Anónimo dijo...

Oh grow up already. It's none of your concern who likes what and who doesn't. You can't undermine someone else simply because they don't have the same taste as you.

Don't impugn the work of someone else until you've a) read it or b) written something better.