jueves, noviembre 30, 2006

Golfing Goth

To be a golfing Goth - well, that was the theory anyway. I always hated the sport - hours and hours of televised sky. Why do they get cameramen who were ex anti-aircraft gunners? That, and the stupid clothes. Dressing up like a pimp from Starsky and Hutch. Thanks but no thanks.

But, a few years ago, my not-so-little brother and I were reunited. After a few weeks of meeting up for a beer or two and laughing about what complete tw*ts we were to each other growing up he issued the immortal words - 'Next week, shall we go for a game of golf?'. Once my head had stopped spinning I actually thought about it. Normally, the answer would have been 'I'd rather sew my head to the carpet'. But here was a real opportunity to do something sporting and spiritual.

Actually, that's a lie - my thought process was more like...go to a golf course, make a complete idiot of myself - hmm tough decision, NO!. But, and this was the deciding factor, I'd be with my brother who has a really short temper, is carrying lots of metal sticks and is a policeman (badge and gun included).

What happens if one of those poncy gits says 'Excuse me, do you mind if we play through?'. Oh the ensuing carnage would be marvellous. Thus I agreed.

Unfortunately though, it was completely boring. Not one club swung in anger, hours searching for the balls that had ignored wishes and gone left when they should have gone right. To top it all, I got a better score than he did. Joys of being a virgin on a golf course. So now, I have a lovely set of golf clubs and never play golf.

At least I got to wear black all the time. The club secretary made it halfway toward me to complain that I didn't look the slightest bit like Huggy Bear then caught a glimpse of my brother winding up his 'death to all in my path' thing. Very short non-conversation.

Only reason I relate this story is because I have to weigh up the implications of transporting said golf clubs to my new residence this weekend. Never know when you might need to wrap a 7-iron around someone's head (apparently little bro is more accurate with that one than the 9-iron and I defer to his better training in this respect)

a luego,

LBoC ->"Levitate - stand straighter and taller than you feel natural, with an imaginary thread attached to the top of your skull..." oh shut up. That's sounds like torture, not calm.

BBoM ->think positive thoughts or else the Attack Badgers will get you, burble in an incoherent fashion, play golf.

8 comentarios:

Drama Queen dijo...

OK so I have been out of action for a few days, but I am back to bloggin after the lovely ego strokes I got from you all. What I cannot figure out is where the hell you are moving to and why? Sorry slow, I know. . .

MKWM dijo...

Master, have you tried mini golf yet? It's so much fun and you don't have to dress up in white.

The best thing here is that you were reunited with your not-so-little brother...

Drama Queen dijo...

I'm with you know, don't worry I see your previous replies. . .So you are travelling and NOT moving or are you moving to Belgium? Belgium is good, Belgium has me!! And at least in the UK you get to see Junior Goth!

SpanishGoth dijo...

Gothettes - thanks for your concern. Moving back to Bru - can't remember exactly where - too busy dealing with offshore accountants etc.

Looking forward to seeing mini-goth and mini-gothess but not looking forward to flights, hanging round in airports etc.

Not so little bro has managed to get himself on 'sick-leave' for 2 months. Apparently, arresting hobbits is hard?!

MKWM dijo...

He has a job I would not like to do at all; very hard indeed and rather dangerous. So policemen /women are inclined to take 'sick-leaves' in order to keep away for a while from all the madness and evil they have to deal with on a daily basis.

SpanishGoth dijo...

'The evil that men do lives on and on' - Iron Maiden. Funny that there's no mention of evil women in there.

It was his choice to be a police person. I chose Goth. But yes Mistress, it is very hard ;-)

MKWM dijo...

Evil women do exist, it goes without saying.

"The evil that men do lives after them. The good is oft interred with their bones."
W. Shakespeare. Interesting quote, isn't it?

We need policemen and any other professionals. In fact, we all depend on each other.

SpanishGoth dijo...

Hmm - ok, more interesting quote from the King Of Goth - Mr Eldritch "I can love my fellow man but I'm damned if I'll love yours"

I could get fluffy and start quoting Lennon but I'll just agree that everybody has a purpose